The abayya took different styles and meanings during my early life- prior London- in Doha. As a teenager I chose to wear it, although my father, and I do remember clearly, warned me that I’m still a kid and that it is a responsibility and once you wear it, you are stuck with it. Still, I loved going to school in my new fashion statement, declaring to the world that I’m a grown-up. During my short high school years (I skipped a year and graduated high school in 2 years rather than 3), the abayya changed in material and the way it was worn. Thus, following the trend that came from Saudi Arabia, I abandoned the silk over-head abayya to the Saudi crepe, on the shoulder embroidered abayya.
Abayya post-london (I have spent 7 years in London) has changed drastically and it gained different meanings to me, unfortunately not all were peachy. It felt like a burden. It felt like a disguise that I had on and didn’t reflect me; in fact I felt that the moment I put it on, I became someone else, someone who is assuming someone else’s character in manners, gestures, and body movements!!! Yet, my father’s warning always rang in my head: “you are stuck with it.”
I struggled for three years, yet now I know it wasn’t the abayya that caused my identity crisis, instead it was my identity crisis that manifested itself in my total resentment to a symbol of my traditional culture. So my “modern self” wanted to exercise its muscles and naively thought that the abayya was the axis of all evil! How naïve!!
While I was struggling to consolidate between my “modern self” and my “traditional self”, I had a young lady interview me. She came into my office and said “Oh you are such a role model to all of us. And on a personal note, if I could remove my abayya on campus like you do, I would!!!” This hit me so badly, and suddenly felt that I was “the axis of all evil” not the abayya. Do I want to be known as the Qatari professor who abandoned her abayya? Do I want to be a pioneer in doing so and have followers who would in future refer to me as “the abayya burner”? Nooooooooooooo.
I knew then that I do have a huge responsibility, but had to question and convince myself of what the abayya means to me. Is it a religious or a cultural symbol? Is it used as a cover-up or a statement? I had to dig deeper into my psyche to reach the point I have reached two years ago. The abayya is a major part of my identity as a Qatari. The Qatari identity is an amalgam of factors we share with others (Islam, Arabic language, shared history, etc.) and factors that are so specific to us (national dress, dialect, local history, etc.)
So instead of thinking that in wearing it, my “modern self” is subjected and oppressed, I’m wearing it now to show off my modern self that is so at peace with its traditional roots. However, I’m still aware that it is only “one” factor, and shouldn’t carry more that it should bear- it is a piece of cloth after all no matter how much it costs. Still when I wear it, I do wear it with pride.
To all ladies out there: What is the abayya to you?
Mimi
I have to tell you my story with hijab before I start my abbaya story. It was the year when they first opened "The Mall". I went with my little brother to the play ground. On the way, an old man said hi to my little brother. He was my uncle's friend and recognized him. Few days later, my mom and uncle had a secret meeting with me to discuss hijab. The reason behind this meeting is that my Uncle's friend mentioned that he saw a girl who was not wearing hijab with abdulaziz, my little brother. Of course, this was enough to trigger my uncle's feeling of jealousy for the females in his family! I hated the hijab so much. It restrained me so much, I was just a kid who wanted to play. Their argument was that I was "......" and that my mom is also bint gobayel and she is not Indian or Lebanese so that I don’t wear hijab. There was no mention of religion at all. My story with abaya begins when I started high school. I was two years younger than everyone else because I started 1st grade a year earlier than the usual age and skipped 9th grade. I had to wear abaya because my mom used to teach at this school and she didn’t want me to embarrass her in front of her colleagues. After many arguments I was forced to wear it. I hated it so much; I used to believe that I have fever every time I wear it. Eventually I got used to it. Then I went to UK, and when I came back I forgot how I used to wear the Sheila and abaya properly. So I created my own style to feel comfortable in it. My style was not approved by many in my family because my fringe shows and my neck too. But I didn’t care because I don’t wear it religiously. I remember my aunt asking me once "I have noticed that your hair shows and it breaks my heart, I don’t like it when others see you like this". I said " I know that my hair shows, what's the big deal?". She was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Then I continued "would anyone care if I didn’t pray or fast? … no, no one would, because this doesn’t show to others, but my hair does, and that’s why there is so much emphasis on it, just because it is a visible flaw. If I didn’t pray, people won't condemn this even though it is much more important than putting a piece of cloth on your head. Why don’t you speak to my cousin who doesn’t pray and who is rude to people, this should break your heart more than my hair that shows". I don’t hate the abaya now. I actually like wearing it, but only in Qatar. I realized that people wear it here for traditional reasons, for prestige and reputation. If I don’t wear it in Qatar, people won't respect me. Wearing it here gives me some sort of confidence and prestige. I know I am respected for wearing it and I know that many privileges come with it. It has nothing to do with religion because many girls, including me, take it off when they travel. I actually asked some of my friends who wear it when the travel about their reason to wear the abaya and their answer was "we wear it because we want to maintain our conservative nature, plus it attracts other Arab men, so it is a way to get attention and who knows, maybe get a husband too". You can tell who wear it for religious reasons, and who don’t. at the end, I don’t think we should judge anyone who choose to wear it or not.May 19th, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
Anon
Firstly , Professor Al Malki thank you for bringing this topic up I am sure its going to stem a heated discussion and debate in this blog. But let me start with this; I think as a successful young Qatari woman who sought her degrees in the UK and is teaching at CMU- Qatar Campus sadly you do have a burden of representing the Qatari identity . I was very pleased and proud when I heard that a young Qatari professor will be teaching at CMU, if anything it’s a statement of the Qatari’s capabilities that the foreigners keep mocking and degrading ( now that’s another issue but I don’t want to jump on to it). However, to be honest I had mixed ( mostly negative) feeling with the idea of a young Qatari professor teaching at CMU-Qatar Campus without wearing the abbayah ( note Qatar Campus , if it was Pittsburgh) so your technically representing the ambitious Qatari female who comes from a line of prosperous culture and tradition. You do carry the burden that people view you as an idol of the choice that you made, sadly our society act like a bunch of herds…they follow the black sheep after many criticism like your fellow blogger below. I don’t by any means think you are a hypocrite at all, and yes its your decision and you will be judged on it, but when a bunch of girls decided to let “loose” because of professor al malki who teaches at cmu, then you would be judged on that. I feel that your such an inspiration to young ambitious Qatari women, and your amongst foreigners, so why should we give them an excuse to think that we are embarrassed of our culture/religion in our own country?! At the end of the day it is your decision but you got to bear in mind you’re a role model to the young Qatari students who look at you. Yes we want a modern/open minded mentality but would we want to loose our identity/culture in the process? And just become a bunch of Americans? You’re at a very inspiring position, an educator and you will be judged on that. And re: maryam al subai Frankly your reply is appalling , embarrassing and full of hypocrisy. Its funny how you were preaching about the “hijab” and you would think “Qatar Academy Students” are loose for not wearing it, sadly after many years its reflects that its sprung from jealousy. Your actions are very contradicting, you had it on you were committed to it and you took it off.. You were wearing it while you were in london ( so I find the fact that you don’t remember how to wear it when you got back is quite absurd), and well you decided to affiliate urself with the “all Americans” and preach about liberalization and abbayah. And btw abbayah isn’t label for whether your mother is Indian, Lebanese or whatever…bent gabayel or not….its a girl who respects herself and wears it for the right reasons and not prestige! Its for the classy girl who is proud of her religion, culture and identity not the one who tries to conceal it with the “modernization” look… Cause there are many girls who think that they wear it in a “stylish” manner when really they attract more attention!! Abbayah is a sign of modesty!!! If your ashamed of it by all means take it off!!!? Your preaching with no sense at all!!! At least Prof AlMalki felt a burden and a sense of responsibility? What did you feel when you were going around criticizing girls who did not wear “hijab” in london? And you were wearing it in london! You were fully committed to it! And then wow you take it off? And then you have the audacity to come here and preach! And give the whole poor girl went to london for four years and came back with a cultural shock? I have news for you, there are girls who were born, raised and lived abroad for 99% of their lives and when they come back they yearn this cultural identity and they don’t go on and complain about their cultural shock…so give yourself a break…modesty is a key , do not degrade your kind thinking that you were made or born better..cause your not and it reflects on your blog! I cant believe such close minded mentality like yours still exists! Finally thank you professor almalki for posting this discussion on your blog and my apologies for the pre heated discussion, but felt an obligation to post a reply. I did not want to give the impression that your fellow bloger above represented the whole society when she only represents a small closed minded niche trapped in an idealistic HBO world.May 20th, 2009 @ 12:07 am
Mimi
Dear Anon First of all, you do not know me but it seems from attacking me with no reason at all that you don't like me more than just disagreeing with what i said. There is a difference between expressing your opinion and insulting someone and i think you have crossed that line. Second, what i said was my story. something i have been though which have affected my emotional and mental health and i am just sharing my story. Who gives you the right to comment on what i've been through as appaling,embarrassing or full of hypocrisy? we all go through changes. none of us stays the same, is this a crime? Third, who said anything about Qatar Academy Students here? or my preaching about hijab? this has nothing to do with the issue we are talking about. if i decide to wear it or not its my business not yours and you don't have the right to judge me. what is it for you? and i was not wearing it in london, did you live me or something and i didnt know about it? i gave it a shot for few months but didnt like it. and yes, it did took me a while to get used to wearing sheila again, what is so absurd about that? Fourth, from where did you assume that i affiliated myself with "americans", do you know anything about me or my life? didnt you read when i said "i like wearing abaya in Qatar". Fifth, it was not me who labeld the abaya with the origin of the mother, i was just telling you a story, about how people think here. Sixth, it is wrong to say that girls who wears hijab are respectful and girls who dont are not. None of us have the right to judge, this is so silly to judge someone like this. This way you are insulting more than half of the students in CMU who dont wear hijab! Seventh, I am not ashamed of abaya, where did you get that from? i like wearing it, if my reasons differes than yours you dont have the right to tell me to take it off. Where did you get the idea that i think i was made or born better? seriously, what is wrong with you. for your information, i am working so hard to contribute to my country and society. i am working on different projects and supporting young people, i take the burden to have cultural activities with different embassies and give lectures about the Qatari culture. because i am proud of being Qatari. It seems that you have a problem with me rather than what i wrote becuase you twisted things, insulted me and talked about something completely different. If you dont like me, or my ideas, its fine. i dont expect everyone to, but you should learn that there is something called respect. funny how you keep preaching me about it, but it seems that you have no idea how to respect others that you disagree with. you could have addressed me politely, there was no need for this tone at all. i petty you, seems that you are such a negative person with so much hatred with no reason. God help people like you who cant accept others. I think its clear from your response who is the closed minded, disrespectful person trapped in her own ideals!May 20th, 2009 @ 1:19 am
Saad
Dr.Amal I respect your honesty and ,in my opinion, the dialogue that you had with your self is one of the hardest things that any human being will do. Since it needs honesty and courage with oneself. Lao-tzu once said "He who knows others is wise; He who know himself is enlightened" I believe what you did is enlightening :)May 20th, 2009 @ 1:57 am
warda
My gratitude extends to you Dr. Al-Malki for presenting such a topic, knowing that there are implications of controversy and disagreement which will be brought by your fellow students. Foremost, this burden and responsibility that you talk about is one that you have created yourself. Yet, it obviously stems out of the patriotic feelings you have for your home, you are trying to be the national hero, to portray the perfect image of Qatar to the world, but most unfortunately, you are simply attempting to impress foreigners, and show them this is part of our culture. This is not surprising for an intelligent person such as yourself. And I am very pleased to know that you would take such a burden upon your own self. However, we have our own contradictions and challenges, especially when we compromise our own personal preferences in the sake of what the indicated “culture” demands from us to be accepted, and to be part of the group. This whole journey in identity trial and error is so painful on one’s soul, yet once completed the person becomes more aware of what she likes or prefers. But still, I would think for someone with your stature, an issue so minute could even be a topic on your blog. This made me laugh when I read it, as you lost half of the reverence I usually have for Qatari scholars through such a mockery with all due respect. The funny thing, Qatari women have been more liberated back in the 1960s, go ask the elders about that era and surprisingly women tend to cover more of themselves as time went forward, rather than what everyone thinks of “Americanization”. One of the elder women told me, “we used to be able to walk from neighborhood to another, there were no streets, no cars, no dangerous people. We had to commute for far distances on foot, and it was fine back then, everyone knew everyone, and nobody judged anybody, nobody ever came across us and told us to cover our faces, or I can see the front of your head or such.” So, we did become a society of judges only starting in the 80s and forth, we like walk around with a judge’s hammer, banging on everyone that does not approve of “the Qatari” criteria. Re blogger 2, Who the hell are you to tell me what or how should I wear my Abbaya? Do you have a responsibility too? How childish, you know that the size of great minds is measured by the size of things that gets them upset. It is people who think that Abbaya or hijab or batoola is what makes the difference in Qatar. For god sake, it’s just clothes, everybody dresses differently and if you are religious, seriously, let’s get real, if the prophet is to be amongst us today, would he care about what women are covering or not, or about the falling bodies in Palestine and Iraq. You are the exact kind of surplus Qataris who consume more than they can offer. Newsflash, we just happen to come from different backgrounds, meaning no one can ever have the same life, thus the same preference, and there was never a standard “Qatari Style” to begin with, things change evolve, get over it, then you should wear Al-baddyia clothes, with a Gucci print I guess! Stop with this ridicule and even to respond to such a topic shows me how microscopic in thought Qataris have become. Their “Sharaf” is their waist and below and ladies and gentlemen that’s what makes a real Qatari now, give me a break. Our society is not a bunch of herds, such an insult, specially if you think that educated people have a responsibility toward the least fortunate, you are not doing that with your magic Abbaya. Believe me, it took more than Abbaya for Dr. Al-Malki to get where she is, and Abbaya or no Abbaya is not a freaking measure for achievements or gratitude. And what the hell, Your ideas are simply pushing for everyone to be wearing Abbaya, you are making this society look like a bunch of herds, black herds if I may say. I do not promote taking it off or whatever, but this, by any means, cannot be an indication for Qatar or our society. And do not put such a liability on our dear Professor, these girls are adults and they have a piece of their own mind, they can think on their own, they get to make their own decisions and not your decision, got it batman? Talking about loosing identity and culture, and having an open mind, you apparently do not know how lucky you are for being able to get an education with this level. You do not know how awful it is still for some of us to get out of our homes, how education is still a dilemma presented before being wedded as a condition? How ridiculous have we become and you are still talking about Abbaya and how it’s linked to loosing our identity and culture, give me a second break, cause this time I really need it. Obviously, you have issues with your identity and trying to link abbaya or anything for that sake into Qatari Culture is only part of your soul search, I wish you nothing but the best but one must listen before talking, and you can’t do that. Another thing, you are just pure envy, jealousy, blabber, wasting your own life criticizing and talking about other people’s lives, I think you do really represent the “stereotypical Qataris”, you know exactly what I’m talking about, those friends of you who knows you and as soon as they go they judge you. What a pity, but what’s more important, what a waste of talent and years of education. I wish you could put your mind into something that has more significance than showing this great deal of consideration to the gentiles of Qatari men. Make your own choices and follow your own preferences, you are an adult, you have a brain, you think, you want to wear it, with or without style, not wear it at all, walk around in a bikini, first make sure you loose some weight before doing that, but after all its YOUR choice, who cares. However, if Abbaya is some sort of **** deflector, if that’s the case, we should simply cut the **** off, rather than enslave ourselves and COVER our identity. I am with you as doing it for the right reasons, such as religious beliefs but not obliging to such sick mentality. You have to know, there is no such thing as an article that is not opinion driven, not everything has to be based on facts and stories we lived, we like to express our own opinions and preference, and what you just did was completely unprofessional. Why go so low for such an argument, I hate seeing us fighting on stupid topics while there are much bigger skeletons in the Qatari closet. Stop beating up on each other, and let everyone be what they want to be, you are not god, do not try to be one, who are you to judge me, and I hope you did not think you will be a better person for giving such comments, or make yourself feel better. Let’s make a better Qatar, not a shallow narrow minded, stupid, I would like to see one moral and ethical person in this country who can stand up for right and stand against the wrong.May 20th, 2009 @ 3:00 pm
Anon
Maryam, You obviously have mental issues and you need to get yourself a good therapist to clear the issue out. I did not insult CMU students or girls who wear and do not wear the hijab so lets not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? You jump into conclusions too fast don’t you? Stemmed form insecurity problems?! Or immaturity! Give yourself a break, go look at your blog and how disrespectful you are in many aspects…you really need to look at urself closely and not go around preaching and giving ideas that are obviously wrong…and hijab is not something oh you give it a try, I din like it and then take it off….and you din wear it in london…weren’t at the UN photographed proudly with it? Or wait you wore it cause you were “bent gobyael” back then…and now you just want to blend in with the flow : ) Honestly, if anything I feel pity for you…people like you are walking joke… This was a topic on the abbayah view and what it means…and it does not mean wearing it in a fashionable sense or a glamour way…it has a deeper meaning , which you sadly do not understand…I don’t have the time to waste to analyse ur insecurity and most importantly as stated by you ur “mental health”… frankly your commentary about the hijab and ur rude answers to ur aunt just reflects on the type of person you are! So I don’t hold any respect for you by any means, you carry that “reputation” anyway, so I am not bothered by you. Dr. AlMalki said a very interesting quote that I think people should abide with , Modesty!!! For the love of God, if you don’t want to wear it take it off!! Who gives a damn, besides if anything ur “dirtying” the image of the abbayah, your clearly not worthy of it. Back to the abbayah issue…I believe as a Qatari we have a moral obligation towards our religion/ culture and society, regardless of your beliefs /decisions etc…when I wear the abbayah, and its not only a cloth that I drape on my body, but I wear it knowing that I have an obligation burden allies with it and that’s representation of a young Qatari female in the society. I wear it amongst my co-workers with pride, and when asked why do I wear it , I reply with pride and I don’t make the excuses oh I am forced to wear it or you know it’s a cultural thing…but I take it off when I am in London…that just reflects a dual personality and disapproval of the idea of the abbayah…why do we have to justify to west what the abbayah means to us, when its much more than a cloth! I find it ridiculous that girls think that oh because I am from this family therefore I should wear it!!! And for the record, it’s the girl who wears the abbayah not the abbayah wears the girl! And for the record there are many girls I know who do not wear hijab , but wear the abbayah with modesty and pride and they don’t feel the need to explain their situation to anyone…I’ve been astonished by girls who wear it with modesty not trying to show a flick of skin, a some hair strays ( to modernize it) or to appear “sexy” …or have it a bit tight here, bit loose or …alternate it there a bit…to show and conceal the body … An individual who has no respect to their culture/ religion and identity is an individual who will never gain respect amongst others, and will ultimately be an outkast in any society. This is what I think, you either wear it ( and ur convinced of the meaning of it) or don’t wear it… The whole “bent gabayel” thing doesn’t work anymore, I am sure people know by know who is the girl who earns respect for herself and who is the girl who is going around using the “bent gabyel” label . Side note: The start of the problem is the individual not the surroundings…never blame it on society when we compose the society.May 20th, 2009 @ 3:38 pm
anon
Warda, I don’t know whether to applaud you or boo you??! You started of with some sense, but gravitated towards defining a culture, society etc…on a weak presumption and you clearly did not understand my argument against it. My harsh response to blooger one, stems from her past blogging and posting criticizing the society and degrading it , in ways that angers me in many ways…the way I see it, we compose society so why are we criticizing it? Why are we degrading ourselves infront of foreigners and empowering them to belittle us? I don’t see why we critic or talk about others, and at the end we end up copying them or even being worse than them!!! That’s my whole point!!! That’s the whole reason behind my harsh response to maryam, again I don’t need to justify myself after all we are living the liberal era so for you to label my energy and waste of education is if anything contradicts your whole philosophy of development and waste of education. At least I did not sacrifice my morals and beliefs in the name of education, after all what is education without values? Its worthless! Lastly I have to make this clear and out loud : A girl is hold responsible for her actions and a abbayah does carry that burden like Dr. AlMalki stated in her post. I am not saying a girl who doesn’t wear it is bad or good, I am not even implying it at all…I am saying wear it for the right reasons, and when you wear it wear it with pride not in a shameful manner and reasoning it’s a societal obligation and oh we live in a dark society blah blah!!! That irritates me so much to see young females misrepresenting the whole meaning of it! It takes away the weight of it! And besides we see now Moroccans and Russians trying to pull of the abbayahs better than Qataris and when they act in a disrespectful manner it falls on the Qatari female, why because well she is wearing a abbayah so she is Qatari! Maybe to you a abbayah is nothing and you would rather wonder around in a bathing suit, fine do so…but to lead a herd of shaping young minds into following your footsteps is incorrect…May 20th, 2009 @ 4:59 pm
Saleh
Trying to get involved a bit here.. and trying to find the true issue here which we all are facing (living in two separate spheres) where taking on one stance labels you and hunts you until you die.. and individuals struggle between what they think is right or what the community sets.. change is always happening, but are we ready to adapt to it..May 21st, 2009 @ 2:40 am
Mimi
Dear Anon, Can you give me the name of your therapist so that i can make sure i dont go to her, she obviously didnt do a good job with you! please, get a life! If your so proud of yourself and identity, dont insult others and hide behind anonymous name, you obviously know me. so next time you see me, tell me who you are and stop being a hypocrite. you hate me, and still read my blog! wow I just want to admit one thing, i was wrong to waste my time and respond to a pathetic person like you. I tried to be polite with you in my response but obviously it doesnt work with demeaning people like yourself, i had to sink to your low level and use insults coz its seems to be the only way to communicate with you. This is the last of what am going to say This is the most suitable reply for a repulsive, closed minded, sad and pathetic person like you. and still its not low enough for you القافله تسير و الكلاب تنبحMay 21st, 2009 @ 1:41 pm
Amal
Ladies, we had our fun, didn’t we? Let us stop insulting each other. We do not need to agree, actually as Arabs we would only agree to disagree!!! But would we please disagree in style. I welcome all of your comments; in fact I would be more than happy to share my blog with all of you. I’m sure that I’ll continue writing “controversial” pieces, and would want you to continue enriching the blog with your intelligent thoughts and comments.May 21st, 2009 @ 3:31 pm
Anon
Apologies to Dr. Al Malki never meant to turn your educated blog into comedy central :) Thanks for posting interesting pieces though!May 21st, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
Amal Almalki
Anon- I'll hold your last comment if you don't mind! And let's call it a truce!May 21st, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
anon
Ofcourse i dont mind!! its your blog!! i am just an intruder who steered some action! lol I should be the one asking you for permission to blog and thanking you for allowing me to do so, even though my ways may not have been civil, but i hate hypocrite people with passion, especially those who speak ill of others and then come and do the same or even worse!! Honsetly , i apologize but i dont regert my posts though to your dedicated fellow blogger, if anything just revelaed her level which i am glad!! Thank you again, your posting intersting and refreshing topics that we constantly talk about in our society! i do wish if there were more action rather than talks and complaining!!!! or degrading our society! people forget that west are full of problems and issues that illhumdellah we dont suffer, yes we have our own issues but we are living a better life than them!! p.s: i did try to send you a message on contact you button but for some reason it doesnt work... i would have sent you the same message above as a private message please feel free to hold it and not put it on display. I do appreciate your openess in allowing different views coming and debating on your blog! Kudos to that!! If you feel that my comments arent welcomed or insulting , please do let me know..your the owner of the blogger! and by all means my posts were not meant to disrespect you in any manner!!! Thanks again!!May 21st, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
Fatma
Well ..There seems to be a lot going on here ,hot discussions and therapist recommendations .. :) Amal I promised to comment and this post got my full attention .I'm one who wear abbaya everywhere in Qatar and everywhere out Qatar . The way I dress is the same everywhere cause simply I do it for religious reasons .Also I try to keep my abbayas as simple as possiable to avoid converting it to a dress like some people do .I understand what you have gone through I think people who spend so much time in the west always go through this kind of struggle to establish an identity , but do you know what is so sad is that the hijab and abbaya is always the victim .It's either your brain or your hijab it's like you can't have both.Some people think that I need to show the world I'm cool , modern and open minded and I'm not like my old parents and my close-minded ,old style and third world people of my country I'm more sophisticated and more educated see I'm not like them wearing abbayas , but is it really the abbaya that makes you old fashioned and modern. I've traveled around the world and have seen how other people are so proud of their religion and culture and I said religion first because this is more important .On the other hand we Muslims and Arab are so ashamed and embarrassed of who we are and what we do , instead of show the world how rich our religion and culture is we hide it and try to tweak and change it .After the world war Japaneses were hated by the whole world ,it's amazing how they have changed the image and now everybody is crazy about Japaneses culture from sushi , bento boxes (I'm a big fan of cute bento boxes LOL ) to Japaneses cartoons .They are proud of their culture and showed this to the world and earn the world's respect . We have so much to learn .. Glad you are trying to be the best role model you can be for young girls .. They are so lucky to have you as a model .May 21st, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
MOHD
In Arabic : (1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5njs1n2mxk (2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueJ85kewe_s&feature=related (3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruLe9NaRsgE&feature=related (4) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS_nQALipbA&feature=related (5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv0AiLrIujw&feature=related (6) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzSqqiaomYw&feature=related (7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SYYup1tmTw&feature=related I hope that these videos will provide some useful information to the discussion here.May 23rd, 2009 @ 1:55 am
guess who:)
Thank God I found you! A short email is on the way coming soon:)May 23rd, 2009 @ 9:00 pm
Hassan
Dr. Amal .. I know this discussion is solely directed to females but I do apologize for my nosiness in advance .. Its not like am a pious guy nor am I a devoted Islamist (AAH I HATE ED HUSSIEN AND HIS BOOK) but I felt that this topic is interesting and I felt that there is a fuzzy logic which is shared by most of the Qatari ladies that are not fond of Abaya or Hijab .. There are two verses that kept ringing in my head every time I wanted to take a decision or judge a person (yeah like every human being i am judgmental and lol am not m6awa3 wallah) .. and It is really not about how the society perceives the Abaya or Hijab but it is about on which basis am I taking a decision or judging a person .. Ethnocentrism is a killer .. Much of the heated discussions and arguments that have been taking place in response to this post deviated from the real question which is solely about the Abaya and included the Hijab into the issue .. Unlike Abaya .. Hijab is not a societal territory .. "Render therefore to Cesar the things which are Cesar's, and to God the things which are God's" .. Believe it or not .. Prayer is another thing that we as men at least are judged upon .. When a guy proposes to a girl, her family asks about whether this guy is amongst those who pay the masjid a visit every now and then (at least this is the case with my family and other families that I still have respect to their way of thinking) .. Yet I know many families that do not even care even if the guy was a drunken dude who roamed Ramada street all night long .. lol so this whole argument about people not judging people for prayer is only in certain circles which put society before god :) .. secular maybe .. name them whatever u have but they do use "traditions" as a base to reckon .. and when they let go of traditions they become so fragile and hence their judgments are based on "ma nabii n9eer 3elj fee 7loog el naas" Similarly with Hijab and Abaya .. There is a conspicuous disparity amongst guys in Qatar and they could be categorized into the following (lol and believe me it does not matter whether this girl is "bent gbayel" or from the street .. nor does it matter whether ur mother is Qatari or Hindi .. ): 1 - Those who think any girl without a Hijab or Abaya (including not wearing any of em properly) is a .... (well i think this blog is censored and Id better watch my choice of words .. but i think my message is delivered) .. They would either lie to them in order to take advantage of their "openness" .. Or they would be pointed at with a multitude of fingers .. 2 - Those who think that such a conduct is a disgrace and hence maybe shun these girls from their social circle and their family if they could .. 3 - Those who do not approve of such a conduct but they can not be vocal about it because a family member is not wearing a Hijab or a Abaya and he does not have the authority to tell them off .. 4 - Those who care for either societal or religious reasons and he cant accept the fact that a Qatari could take her Hijab or Abaya off easily .. 5 - Those who do not care about whether Qatari girls wear em or not .. Because they are "kewl" .. Sorry for the prolonged response but my curiosity prevailed one more time and I could not control it ..May 24th, 2009 @ 1:33 am
Nasser Al-Naama
Relaying my own experience... Thobe; To me- a piece of cloth, to others- means much more than that. I dislike wearing it. For that, I pay the price. I often get asked about my nationality, as recent as last week. The look of shock and utter disbelief when I tell them. I'm regularly told I should wear it more often, so that I don't tarnish my fathers good name. Wearing it, to me, is like wearing a 'mask', assuming a different identity, or character, pretending to be something I'm not. It makes me uncomfortable. Had I liked wearing it, I suppose life would be a lot easier. I would be accepted more in my society, I wouldn't be excluded or alienated from a lot of things. But, at the end of the day, I'm just trying to live my life, my own way, and hopefully let others know, that I am not just what I wear, and that I should be judged solely on my actions. 2 thumbs up to your blog ;)May 24th, 2009 @ 6:54 am
Bash
Prof. Amal, Thank you for bringing this up and sharing your story. It reminds me of my own struggle and though I have made peace with the abaya now, at certain times I wish I had been left to embrace it on my own and not been asked to wear it. Strange as this may sound ( since a lot of people are of the opinion that the abaya to be exclusively limited to the Arab world), I am Indian. Hailing from a more conservative part of the country and a more traditional family, I had all the same pressures to cover up as women here do. This has nothing to do either with being brought up in an arab country, had I grown up and lived all my life in India, it probably would have been the same. So, I am wondering that perhaps the issue is more global than we think ?May 24th, 2009 @ 8:36 am
David Kaufer
What is easy to overlook in this tale is Amal's father's admonition that she is "stuck with" the Abaya once she downs it. That knowledge reverberated in Amal's mind as revealed paternal wisdom. Daisy Hilse Dwyer writes of folklore in the Islamic tradition and specifically folkore in the small Moroccan city of Taroudannt (Images and Self-Images: Male and Female in Morocco, Columbia UP, 1978). Assembling a corpus of 95 folktalkes of that tradition, she finds that the irreversibility of sexual development is a motif that runs throughout many tales: Once a woman, always a woman. In addition, many of the tales reinforce the more general idea that actions, once taken, are inviolate and cannot properly be reversed, even if the action was originally taken by mistake. One such folklore explains how one of the Prophet's messangers confused Ramadan and the Jewish day of fast (Yom Kippur). The Prophet had commanded her to tell the Jews to fast for a month and the Muslims, for a day. But she got the messages confused and told the Jews to fast for one day and the Muslims for a month. Though a mistake, the Prophet is said to have respected the irreversibility of the action. There is propriety simply in agreeing not to change, which underlies much of what a modern would understand as social conservatism but a traditionalist would understand as decorum. As we write our stories, we should always keep in mind the small assumptions that allow one event to cling to the next and, like a mystery detective, investigate where these assumptions may have originated.May 27th, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
jacque
please excuse my ignorant, but may i ask what is a "bent gobayel"? thank youJune 4th, 2009 @ 11:19 am
Amal Almalki
Jacque: It means “I’m a descendant of an Arabian tribe”. We sometimes assume that our reader is an Arabic/English bilingual like us and thus we code-switch-- write in English but still incorporate some Arabic phrases. The phrase you couldn’t understand is an Arabic one, so excuse us.June 4th, 2009 @ 11:12 pm
Rashid
Dr. Amal, I appreciate what you went through and I am glad that you eventually realized that sticking to good traditions and cultural symbols worth more than anything else, including higher qualifications and prestigious jobs. I saw your picture in the paper few days ago and you look great with your Hijab and Abaya. May Allah bless you. As a side note, I was impressed by the writing skills of some of the people here. However, I really felt bad while I was reading the level and style used by most of the writers in this blog. I am just not sure when we will start listening to each other and stop judgments, stereotyping, and generalizations. For example, blogger “Mimi” felt comfortable in self-disclosing some of the issues she went through and, despite that I may not agree with many of her thoughts, she was severely attacked. Even when she tried to “correct” the situation, it got bad again. I am not sure who are these bloggers but I am assuming these would be students of some of the best schools in the country/world?? If this is the case, I am hoping that some of the attitudes and communication skills would change once they complete their programs, hopefully towards the positive. Final thought, although it is great to use our intellegent minds and logic to reach conclusions and shape our believes and behaviors, let’s not forget that there are always trusted sources and references that can give us clear guidance on what’s right or wrong. And let’s all remember, with or without Abaya, life is really short and we will all be asked about our deeds pretty soon. Best wishes to all.June 5th, 2009 @ 10:39 pm
Aisha
Dr.Amal thanks for sharing your monologue with the world. It gives a human touch to our national pride. You see, I love my Abaya, I really do.. Every time I were it I make sure It covers me properly( for religious reasons actually), I've always done that. But, as a human, when It's hot out there, I might feel uncomfortable, which is logical. .so then I remind myself of why I'm wearing it and I go on with my life.. And to tell the truth, I love not having to plan what to wear beneath it every single day.. Plus, no one will ever know if you have a bad hair day lolz اللهم استعملنا ولاتستبدلناJune 7th, 2009 @ 8:59 am
Amal
Any independent voice that doesn’t conform to the majority’s views faces the ultimatum between silence and war. If you don’t buy into the stock mentality, you are subjected to attacks and personal insults or simply alienated and marginalized. Why does the majority choose to silence our voices by declaring a war against us- taking away our freedom of speech- a freedom that we practice with respect and dignity? The moment we tackle an unorthodox topic or issue, they accuse us of attempting to corrupt the people!! They pretend that they live in a homogenous society with no ills, no struggles, no other valid views or styles of living!! Let me clarify one point here, when I talked about the abayya, my take on it was personal and subjective and never intended it to be a national debate and certainly not a religious one. If it was a study or a researched article, I would’ve included it in the publication section or under articles. I’m aware that I have limited my audiences here in Qatar and excluded those who don’t read or write in English. Still I’m extremely happy and proud of my readers and their level of intelligence and sophistication. However, for those who wish to use any of my posts in Arabic sites after translating it to Arabic, I would appreciate it if you run by me, or at least give it to a bilingual to proof read it. Translation is an art, and not everyone is capable to retain the form and content and be faithful to the embedded message. Translation can do lots of harm and ruin the piece if done incorrectly.June 7th, 2009 @ 10:23 pm
Maha O
My Dearest Dr. Amal, at last I read your blog and your comments. Of course this topic hold great interests to me. Let me just say I understand your perspective, and appreciate you sharing it with the world. After all we all perceive life differently and it's always good to look outside of the box and have an open eye to understand someone else’s point of view. I would say I am with the Abyah not because I am religious or because I believe in covering up as much as it is because it's part of our culture, and it adds to my sense of pride as a Qatari woman. Of course some choose to do it religiously which is beneficial for them, and that I believe such a choice taken is between that individual and God not society or the people around you. I do believe society pushes you to wear the Abayah and encourages it, however I hope people by now realize that it should be worn because they want to wear it, and because it symbolizes them as an individual and adds to their identity whether religion, culture or tradition, not because they are forced to wearing it. Furthermore, with all the new styles and classy Abayah's coming out girls should be enjoying dressing up in them. I would say I was always raised to believe the Abayah is there, and love wearing it because it makes me who I am as an individual. I believe it did not prevent me from continuing my education or career instead added a sense of pride, and respect to myself before respect from others. Defiantly something that I think should continue on in our society as long as each individual is comfortable wearing it. Looking forward to reading more of your topics. And an added note from me to you! You are missed dearly :)June 8th, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
Reem Al Muftah
So why did it hit you that hard? Were you afraid of people and what you symbolized in their eyes? If so, I think everyone does care about what other people think of them, but should you have to rethink your identity, your style, your way? No, I don't believe you should, Qatar is a democracy and people should have the right to choose what to wear within boundaries of the culture but not everyone must be subject to the culture.June 18th, 2009 @ 3:53 pm
Reem Al Muftah
Oh and I would like to ask where "Anon" got the notion that the respect is given to those who wear 3baya. That is not 100% true at all! Please explain further...June 18th, 2009 @ 3:57 pm
anon
My dear Reem , Let us take a step back and contrast the following scenarios, I am going to use logic ( I wont use implication of religion or culture etc..) and you can see how respectful is the abbayah. Ofcourse you might be biased in perceiving that the abbayah holds no respect but let us just compare to scenarios.. Scenario One shopping for grocery at family food centre on any given evening or morning ur pick.. ( Not wearing a abbayah , just a pair of jeans, a tshirt “plain jane”) So your strolling the aisles of family food centre and shopping your groceries, you pass by the frozen food section and the frozen chicken nuggets is slightly out of you reach..you extend your arm to reach out for it, and your plain shirt extends along with you…revealing your back and your under garments…ofcourse the indian workers next to you could not miss that view…even if its only for a few seconds…you pass through the hygiene section and pick up a tooth paste, only that it slips from your hand and lands on the floor…there again you bend to pick it up… revealing your skin your back to the world…ofcourse its not intentional from your part…that is a given….you pass through the fruits section, and waiting your turn in the cue to weigh the apples or veggies that you are holding in your hands…its crowded and people are pushing through…a male customer accidentally brushes his hands on your bare arms…ofcourse its not your intention… Your lining at the cashier and a line of construction workers are behind you carrying their bread and rice bags waiting anxiously for their turn…its your turn in the counter…and as your slightly bending gathering your items and placing it on the tilt, the workers behind you catch glimpses of your arm, neck, back etc… Yes its not your intention…that’s a given…but Reem my dear you got to understand that a woman’s body is sanctuary , and even though you have absolute no intention to give free glimpses of your body to the ogling workers …the workers or the male customers have all the intention of not missing a glimpse of anything that is revealed. Ofcourse the abbayah…puts a limit…the ogling “not so innocent” male glances…the abayah protects the lady, it drapes your body and ensures modesty while enforcing respect ..every step you take in the family food centre is concealed …when you line up to weigh your fruits…all the males take a step backwards by default ensuring that you have enough space to maneuver yourself…when you reach out to that frozen nugget package in the frozen section…you can extend your arm as much as you want not worrying about revealing your skin to the male shoppers…when your toothpaste drops, you pick it up with confidence…when your at the tilt…pushing your trolley through…you could see the amount of space the male shoppers give you…this all screams respect….I am not sure if you are aware of it, or you might be oblivious of the fact that the abbayah has an unconditional amount of respect towards the expat and the locals…especially the expats…it has this “don’t cross your limit” , “give me my own space” marked on it…. And don’t get me started with the number of rapes that there is in the US and Europe…and ill7emdillah we don’t have it here yet…I think the abbayah has a larger implication than you think … Security and respect is amongst them.June 23rd, 2009 @ 1:02 pm
KM
Hahahaha Anon, give me a break. That was a funny example you used, I had an image of the woman you described in slow motion with music on the background, is that how men imagine it you think? First of all, this is a sick way of thinking relating everything to sexual intentions! Eshda3wa, its like people are turned on 24/7! Yes there is respect with abaya defiantly but it doesn’t mean that the one who doesn’t wear it is not respectful! I know girls who wear abaya on the head, and even put an extra cover on niqab but they have undercover business; they never stop gossiping and talking behind other’s back and they are Qataris and “banat naas”. Are they make more respectful for putting an extra piece of cloth? Of course not! I have known girls who don’t wear abaya but they are so kind and pure unlike those who cover up and pretend to be respectful. And about rape, we have rape more than what you think. Covering up could be as seductive as showing skin! A pervered is a pervered weather you are wearing a abaya that is as heavy as a tent or a bikini! There are girls getting raped by family members, yes family members and no one talk about it, they keep it a secret because it’s a shame. Go to family counseling center and psychiatric hospitals and you will be shocked by the amount of women getting raped. Thinking that abaya will stop someone from raping is silly; it’s the morals within what matters not a piece of cloth. From what you wrote in this blog I feel that you have a false sense of pride and narrow way of thinking about contradicting issues. You are stereotyping and generalizing and seem to be very judgmental. In our time you should keep an open mind, you don’t have to agree with others or believe in what they say, but you must know how to disagree in a correct way. Your final response seem better than your previous attacks which were more on the blogger herself rather than her opinion. As you mention that the abaya represent the culture and identity, your words represent yourself, so make sure you don’t sink to a low level next time. Wish you all the best,June 28th, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
Nasser
Boy anon, that's some twisted logic you have there, IMO. It saddens me to think that men in our society predominantly share the same mentality, more or less, as yours. Then again, to each his own. As Reem points out, we live in a democracy, and I'm thankful that people can live their lives as they deem fit, without the fear of being reprimanded for it. On a side note, has anyone else noticed that those vociferously on the defensive about women wearing the Abaya, are mostly men? interesting...June 30th, 2009 @ 1:35 am
Anon
Nasser I am glad that you found the time to read through my logical explanition. As i question ur twisted idenfitication between a thob and abbayah? ur comparing apples with oranges:) lol Democracy Never existed :) its a word that people used quite often in the 70's delcaring their freedom..But let us look at the land that proclaims to implement democracy, the Dear US:) Just have a look at it and compare it to Qatar and you will see dear Nasser, that in the US will be stripped of all rights and disrespected at many levels...and here you and ur colleague reem are arguing about a abbayah:)July 2nd, 2009 @ 4:50 pm
Anon
KM...ur post amused me:) it gave me a good laugh...thanks for that:) I gave a LOGICAL explanition on everyday bases...and let us not go into deeper sexual content, since it seems to appeal to you... why would a women want to display her body for cheap glances? I dont condem girls walking in bikini doing their grocery...there are sick people who dont think as innocent as "u" do...so give yourself a break and dont drag on about abbayah is only a display of culture...it has a deeper meaning which you obviously seem to negelect and understand. Maybe in a couple of years, you might appreciate it and change ur shallow opinion:)July 2nd, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
Nasser
Anon- the fact that you don't even have the guts to post your real name, teamed with your inexplicable gibberish, gives me a sneaking suspicion as to who you are. Just to clarify a few points- I never said I was arguing 'against' the abbaya, and neither did Reem I believe. I'm arguing for the *right* to choose what to wear. My example of the thobe was just relaying my own experience, sure maybe it doesn't correlate to the same extent as to wearing the abaya. but I could certainly identify with the blogger's experience in certain aspects of her post. At the very least, I shared my own example; using my own experience in which I could relate-- I'm not pushing the abaya down people's throats, which is what you seem to be doing. But, you have every right to disagree with me...see, isn't democacry nifty? ;) Btw, just because you insisted that you gave a "logical explanation", doesn't make it so! There's hardly anything logical about the hypothetical example you mentioned. If anything, it's insulting, and patronizing to women everywhere, to say the least. It's kind of like saying women don't have the common sense, that they don't know any better, and are practically asking for trouble if they don't conform to wearing the abaya. Guess what? Reem, the blogger, or any other woman for that matter doesn't need you telling them what's best, that their "body is a sanctuary". They're perfectly aware of that and are capable of deciding what's best for themselves. If you don't like what they have to say, it's your prerogative. Condescendingly lecturing to them on what they ought to wear, however, is not. What a person chooses to wear, is a deeply personal matter, that noone should interfere with, so long as it doesn't exceed the boundaries of decency. Moreover, let's say for argument's sake that there's some credibility to your example, why oh why is the blame placed solely on the women? is it the woman's fault that men can't learn to control their perverted urges? why should it be at her expense? My "colleague" and I have travelled extensively to the States . In fact, we both study/studied in American universities, we both have plenty of friends and relatives there and in all the times we've been there we were never "stripped of all rights and disrespected at many levels" like you claim, so give me a break, your "logical" example of "frozen chicken nuggets at FFC" scenario won't fly with us! maybe you should try it with the feeble-minded folk, see if they'll fall for it ;) and next time, please try to stick to the main topic (Abaya) and not go off on a tangent (USA). As for "Democracy Never existed :) its a word that people used quite often in the 70's delcaring their freedom" I beg to differ, our wise leaders declared Qatar as a democratic State, are you trying to imply that they share your point of view?July 3rd, 2009 @ 3:52 am
Lulwa . A
Dr. Amal , i would like to thank you for ABaya Yes-Abaya No , i believe every one has the freedom and his own responsibility to think or to wear what ever he or she want ,we have a great issue more important than that ,please Mr or Mrs Anon be more responsible and make this great effort in writing for something morae useful and don't make Jokes about others opinion .........July 8th, 2009 @ 9:26 pm
Islam
I'm sorry but did anyone care to think what did god and the propet say about Abbaya? I mean you either wear it because you pray, or you dont because you dont pray. If you realy the Quran, and Hadith its not that hard to know which is rite to do or not. i think everyone reading this allready knows which answer I'm going for. so if you dont abide by islamic law why get married in an islamic way? hmm, hope this clears thingsJuly 29th, 2009 @ 3:01 am
Amal Almalki
You seem to miss the point here and confuse Hijab with Abayya. Abayya isn’t mentioned in Qur’an or Hadith. And according to many studies the Abayya was introduced during the Ottoman Empire. It is considered national attire in some regions, and was adopted by others as a form of cover. However, the majority of Muslim ladies who abide by the hijab don’t wear the Abayya!! And your second point is really troubling! Are you saying that a lady who doesn’t wear the hijab shouldn’t be considered a Muslim and shouldn’t marry according to the Islamic way?? The policy of ‘takfeer” or declaring someone “infidel” isn’t for you and me- and I consider it a form of ideological terrorism , so don’t act as the custodian of Islam here. God is the most knowledgeable and merciful.July 29th, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
Islam
No Amal 'takfeer' is not what im saying, im just saying why do alot of muslims select sections of islam that fit their daily lifes, and leaves others. im not saying 'takfeer' im talking about people who select sections and leave sections. 'if you believe this is takfeer' then im sorry to say, you did not comprehend my point, appearntly your sensitive to 'takfeer'. Amal are you saying the propets wifes just wear hajib and no abbayas/ or anything that covers their bodies curves completely? and just wear tight jeans, or jeans + mini skirt (to cover their ass) ? *i need to be blunt to prove a point* im just wondering here. i'd be more than glad to get you documented papers from respected people to prove my point to you. :)July 30th, 2009 @ 3:09 am
Mohammed Al-Ibrahim
It is Sad to see that most people are missing the point. That most people are reflecting on their inner psychology, rather than objectively contributing to the matter at hand. This is not a matter of abaya’s hijab’s or whatever you would call it. It is a matter of INTENSION. If a woman intends to walk as an advertisement for the sole purpose of grabbing attention and whatever comes after that, then her intensions are flawed. If a woman intends not to, then she will wear accordingly. Obviously, ‘accordingly’ would not mean a 2-piece swim suit. Some might argue that it is relative. I would not disagree nor agree. BUT, every woman KNOWS what she needs to wear in order to grab attention or not. It is just amazing how the answer to what is appropriate to wear is within us. We just need to sincerely confront our intensions and FIX them. As a man: I think women should wear the Hijab and the Abaya (if whatever is below her neck is revealing the ‘curves’). You women are the basis of society. If you get corrupted, we men might as well hang ourselves. I think everyone should stop ‘talking’ because when we do as humans we start being defensive. We should objectively ‘talk’ to our ‘inner self’. And ask god for his guidance, and then we will find the answer. Ramadan is coming near. Let us all stop posting, and end the arguments. I think we should go and ask converts who have chosen to wear the Hijab and Abaya in communities that accept half-naked women on their streets. I think they are the only ones that can give us an objective answer. WHY WOULD THEY DO SUCH A THING?August 20th, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
SHEREEN
WELL WELL , A TRUE MUSLIMA HAS TO WEAR HIJAB , IN ALL WAYS , IF SHE REACHES THE MEANING OF HOW WHAT ANON WAS MENTIONING , THE GROCERY THING AND REVEALING , HE IS TRUE TOTALLY ..BELIIEVE ME , I NEVER WAS WEARING HIJAB AND NOW I AM ALHAMDOULILAH , AND WA SNEVER READY FOR IT , UNTILL SUDDENLY , I FELT LIKE I WANT TO COVER , AND JUST COVER AWAY FROM ANY STRANGER STARING AT ME WITH NO RIGHT ... I WAS FOR A TIME WEARING JUST ABAYA AND WITH MAY HEAIR LOOSE I FELT IT WAS MORE SEXY , AND I DIDNT RESPECT MYSELF FOR THAT ,, WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF I WEAR DECENT AND WHY MY HAIR IS REVEALING THEN ? I NEED TO ANSWER MYSELF .. FINALLY I HAD TO COVER MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR AND JUST THEN , I FELT SECURE , AND MEN DONT HAVE INTEREST TO HAVE A SECOND GLANCE AT ALL ... EVEN IN THE ELEVATOR , PEOPLE ,DO KEEP THEIR DISTANCE ..I CANT EXPLAIN .. I AM MORE HAPPY AND SECURE ... ANY WOMAN WHO HAS REAL RESPECT TO HERSELF WOULD THINK OF LIFE IS NO MORE THAN A GLANCE , AND WE SHOULD THINK OF OUR AFTER LIFE AND IF WE ACCEPTED TO OVEY gODS COMMAND , AS SIMPLE AS THAT .. LIKE A COMMAND FROM OUR BOSSES , GOD IS THE GREATEST , SO WE SHOULD OBEY HIM NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS ... WHOEVER SAYS ISLAM IS IN THE HEART , IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO STAND INFRONT OF GOD NOT KNOWING HOW TO ANSWER HIM BACK .. WHAT A PITY PEOPLE ARE IN ... ALLAH YEHDI ALJAMEE3 AMEEN THANKS TO U ALLOctober 1st, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
SHEREEN
I JUST LIKE TO ADD ONE MORE COMMENT ..I STILL BELIEVE ABAYAS OR JELBAB OR THE IRANIAN &TURKISH MONTEUX ALL SHARE A DECENT COVER WHICH IS ALL UNDER THE KNEE LEVEL ,,, THAT EXPLAINS ALOT , THAT TRUE HIJAB IS TO UNREVEAL THE WOMANS BODY AND MAKES HER MORE SECURE .. IF A WOMAN IS WEARING ABAYA , AND STILL KEEPS HER HAIR , SHE STILL HAS A BIT IN HERSELF TO ATTRACT OTHERS AND BE ATTRACTIVE , SO IT IS IN THE HEART AFTER ALL , OTHERWOMEN ARE BORN WITH FAMILIES WEARING HIJAB WHILE THEY HATE THE IDEA AND WISH THEY UNCOVER !!!! SO AFTER ALL IT IS ALL IN THE HEART ...BUT IF WE HAVE FAITH IN OUR HEARTS WHY DONT WE SECURE OURSELVES AND COVER OUR HEADS IN ORDER TO FEEL PEACE AND FEEL WE ARE GOOD SLAVES TO ALLAH , AT LEAST THE DRESS WE WEAR IN OUR COFFIN INDEED IS A HIJAB , SO WHY DONT WE WEAR IT BEFORE WE MEET ALLAH ?????? SOB7AN ALLAH IN HUMAN BEINGS , WAMA MATA3 ALDUNIA ELA QALEEL (HE PLEASURES OF LIFE IS SO LITTLE )October 1st, 2009 @ 2:12 pm
amna
Interesting debate! My take on the Abaya- I am a recent graduate and I relocated to Doha a few months back, I rarely wore the abaya where I was studying because I actually got more attention wearing it than when I was dressed modestly and walked down the street. However the opposite is true here, the first two years I came back for spring break and I remember going out with my sister modestly dressed but I didn't feel the need to wear the Abaya, whenever I had to run errands or whenever I felt like going out I never thought about wearing one, until my father said that I should consider wearing it. It was never forced on me, but the second time my father brought it up, I felt a sense of urgency in his tone, I felt annoyed and decided I should talk about the matter with my mother. My mother was very understanding and after weighing out the pros and cons ( I mean c'mon it gets really hot with the abaya on) I decided I would try wearing the abaya, my younger and older sister both wear theirs so I stood out like a sore thumb every single time we went out. After wearing it, I too felt at ease and since there were less stares, and less awkwardness when we were out and about, and it gave me a very pleasurable feeling. I wouldn't worry about having " a fat day", I wouldn't worry about my clothes clinging on me, I wouldn't worry about color coordinating or trying on a dozen outfits before I stepped out of the door. I am glad I wore the abaya and I have no regrets about it.December 20th, 2009 @ 10:20 pm
Amal Almalki
Amna, thank you for sharing your experience. I get annoyed when people try to neutralize everything in life, taking away from experiences the human element. It is really important that we share our narratives, it emphasizes our identities. Besides, this is a way to celebrate our differences and stand on our similarities. It is always nice to hear from other females about what the abayya means to them- it makes it real and makes us- women- real too.December 20th, 2009 @ 10:45 pm
Hessa
I stumbled on this blog when I was reading the FB group of the Qatar National Day, and I'm glad I did because it's very interesting. I think I would be checking this blog on regular basis from now on :)December 22nd, 2009 @ 2:44 am
phoenix2009
Our Arabic neighbour's daughters, who were born in Qatar and they've graduated and are currently working here, tried to convince my wife(who doesn't wear hijab) to try Abaya and Shala for the followings: 1- you never have to worry about fixing your hair to work daily. 2- you don't have to worry about colors coordination 3- and most important: if you cover your face you will be treated as Qatari lady and will have all the benefits that come with it. After that, i started noticing that not only Qatari ladies wear abaya and cover their faces, and not only Qatari men wear thob, clothing here has it's benefits. I was with my friend, a Qatari, in his car heading to the Gym, wearing the gym outfit, when one other driver(non qatari) tried to overtake from right and then started shouting at my friend who wouldn't let him, my friend's sarcastically commented" it's just because i'm not wearing my thob and ghutra, this ****** is giving me hard time???? ok just let me see you next time when i'm in my power costume" Got it? Best RegardsDecember 23rd, 2009 @ 11:51 am
Emtethal
Dr. Amal /// Your topic revived my memories of the article has been written by Khaled Suleiman Al-Khater entitled' لماذا تقلل المرأة من مكانتها؟ ‘Published in Al-Raya and raised at that time a loud noise on the author. Unfortunately, what astonishes me is that the attacks have been coming more from the women - who are usually accused by some men of lacking in mind and religion................. They are here only to make them happy........... Abbaya, such as the niqab, a subject that required us to pause and answer an important question: Is abbaya from religion, as marketed by some men of religion in our societies, or they want to incarcerate all women in black prison, and enforce ignoble rules that are no longer acceptable in the 21st century............ I do not want to declare that all women must take off their abbaya, even though I hope that one day it could happen, nevertheless it is up to them............. I think, the abbaya is a meaningless restriction, and unjustified incarceration, moreover the abbaya is only the seclusion of the woman according to the will of an jealous man, who does not trust the woman and he perceives her to be little or incomplete in mind, while the mentally deficient who thinks this is the formula. Therefore, I hope one day woman could do away with the abbaya to earn independence.............. For how long will women stay wearing the abbaya? .............. For how long will the black color rife everywhere, "like a funeral?" ............... People are evolving all around us, and we insist on wearing our ancestors’ traditional clothing to this day "We are tired of this color; everywhere we go we see it, and we are bored with it." ................ I believe all women should become the Kuwaiti activist Fatima Hussein, the self-made lady, the author of Fatima Hussein Papers, and the first gulf woman to remove her veil and abbaya.January 6th, 2010 @ 11:16 pm
Mohammed
Dear Amal, the time will come to qatar when Abaya will be only for old women, just like kuwait. but the point is what is the abaya is used for, and where it comes from...as i could remeber...the aya of Hijab make all the ansar women cover themselves in total black...and Mohammed (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was happy of thier action of being covered. modren women thinks of abaya as peice of cloths...turst me it is more...it breaks up the eye sight of the male to the female...and this is something build in all male by defult... i hope our abaya will continue in total black without the new slogans written and colorfull design. but if a decent women decided not to wear abaya and she wear respected clothing...this is her choice and from Islam point of view nothing wrong she did...so whatever you are going to decide feel free and go a head socity will execpt that sooner or later.February 22nd, 2010 @ 6:33 pm
Kaldoon
مرحبا دكتوره امل اسف لكتابتي بالعربيه ولكن هي التي اجيدهاومااردت ان اضيف هوإن العباءة عند نساء العرب قديما وحديثاً شأنها شأن الثوب والشماغ والعقال عند الرجل فالشماغ كان من أجل التربة والغبار الذي كان من طبيعة أرض الجزيرة العربية والعقال كان من أجل تثبيت الشماغ .. وأيضاً كان للعقال أنواع وأشكال تختلف بحسب منزلة الرجل ومكانته بين القبيلة وبحسب المناسبات أو الاحتفالات... أما العباءة ، فكانت من أجل إخفاء المرأة وعدم ظهورها من أجل العار والخزي الذي كانوا يشعرون به حيال المرأة في ذلك الزمن الغابر.... ( عادات وتقاليد عربية قديمة من قبل نزول الإسلام ) حيث كانت العرب تتشاءم من الإناث وكانت المرأة مثل العار عليهم وكانوا يتوارثونها مثل الأنعام والأملاك... حتى أنه في بعض المقولات التاريخية قيل أنهم وصفوا نساء البادية بالخيام المتحركة وقيل مثل الغربان... وهذا دليل قوي على أن العباءة السوداء هي من أصول العرب ومن عاداتهم... وأنها كانت موجوده من قبل ظهور الاسلام صحيح أن الدين الإسلامي يأمر بالستر والحشمة ولكن لم يذكر لا في القرآن ولا في السنة وصف العباءة باللون ولا بالشكل... وإنما هي عادات توارثوها جيلا بعد جيل حتى أنهم قد ثبتوها كأصل من أصول الالتزام والاستقامة في الدين الإسلامي.March 1st, 2010 @ 10:06 pm
Alice
I loved this article and that Dr Almalki made a conscious choice to wear abaya. Myself I'm neither khaleeji, nor Arab. I'm a Muslim woman living in the Emirates, so I'm wearing a black abaya (often overhead abaya) because it's very practical -no need to spend time matching skirts and blouses, it looks good . I used to wonder whether abaya is cultural or religious clothes and came to conclusion that it's both. Although for some people it has more cultural meaning while for others more religious meaning in it.March 19th, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Alice
But I can imagine how some women can feel rebellious against abaya. Khaleeji women are expected to wear it. No choice is left for them and this alone makes one want to protest and exercise the right of every free individual to choose for himself what to do with his own body- how to dress. At the same time modern abaya is beautiful, it can be comfortable and customized to suit the needs of the wearer and be a means of expressing one's individuality. If one is strongly identifying himself as a khaleeji there should be no rebel against abaya- it's a most natural thing for a khaleeji Muslim woman to love her abaya and be proud of it, feel comfortable in it. By the way there are many non-Arab women around the world who are crazy about black abayat and some men who'd love to wear a dishdasha and a ghutra.March 19th, 2010 @ 3:33 pm
Hessa Al-Muhannadi
Well, it's part of our culture and identity. I also think that abaya is a becoming more modern, fashionable and chic. I see women more attractive in abayas, there is something like "mysterious beauty" madri but it's really attractive.March 26th, 2011 @ 3:18 am
Bu khaled
well muslim women should cover her body as she ordered by quran and alsunnah and abaya is the tool that she using to implement that order on her body and i mean the real abaya wich is not for making the women more "attractive" or "mysterious beauty" abaya made to cover all her body from men eyes, and regarding to what Khaldoon wrote it's funny that he thought abaya was before islam , i think he no nothing about islam or before islam !!.June 22nd, 2011 @ 9:49 am
pablito
I think there is nothing wrong to appear modest, but it should be for personal reason. Personally I think the niqab is overkill and I feel unconfortable talking to someone without seeing the face. in the west we also have different degrees of modesty: the office (don't come with shorts and vest), shopping (don't wear a suit or a cocktail dress), a picknick on the grass (skirts are acceptable but difficult to sit), the beach (there it's ok to show more skin-an believe me, noone really looks) etc. In each of these scenarios there is an acceptable dress, and a least acceptable dress. Would it be so hard that modesty adapts to the environment?June 23rd, 2011 @ 4:12 pm
Bu khaled
sorry i will write this paragraph in arabic : يحكى أن أهلنا في الجزيرة كانوا يلبسون العباءة وكانت العباءة ثقيلة كبشت الرجل وقد صار خفيفا الأن ... ومعه كانوا يغطون وجوههم بالبرقع والبطولة ( بالطاء أو التاء ) ... وكان البرقع يغطي الوجه وزيادة وصار التخفيف فيه ... ويبدو أن البطولة وهي خاصة ببعض مناطق الخليج : كقطر والبحرين والإمارات خاصة بالحضر .. وتبدو أنها نوع من الوجاهة لأنها أغلى ثمنا وكان في زمن يضعون عليها ذهبا ..( معليش بطرة ) أما البطولة ... فكانت كبيرة ولونها عجيب ... فصارت أشد عجبا فتجد مجرد خيوط توضع حول العينين ... وتستطيعون كتابة اسمها لتروا شكلها وبالذات البطولة الإمارتية وهي تكاد تختفي اختفاء تاما في البحرين وشبه تام في قطر وليس الهدف التحدث عن البرقع والبطولة ... وإنما هي مقدمة لما يردت مع العباءة .. وقلنا أن العباءة القديمة كانت بشتا أغبر اللون ( ليس حالك السواد ) حسب الخام الموجود ........ ثقيلة الوزن ... تزين أطرافها بالزري كانت العباءة حشمة للمرأة ... ثقيلة لا يستطيع الهواء لفها على جسدها ... إلى جانب قلة خروجها وتوضع على الرأس لتصل إلى القدم بل تزيد ثم خففت العباءة وصارت من الحرير الثقيل إلى الخفيف ومرت بأطوار كثيرة ولكنها ظلت توضع على الرأس .. معززة مكرمة ولأنها توضع على الرأس كان من يسافر خارج البلاد من البنات ومن النساء أيضا لا يرتدونها لغرابة شكلها ... رغم أن الهندوس والسيخ وملابسهم البشعة تظل عليهم في بلاد الغرب ورغم أن السافرات ومن يحضر إلى بلادنا ( باستثناء السعودية ) يلبس هدمته الخليعة المهم العباءة ... ثم لزمن قريب وقريب جدا ... خرجت العباءة التي على الكتف وفيها حشمة من وسعها ، ودون زينة فيها .. وقال فيها علماؤنا ما قالوا لكن النساء لا يسمعن الكلام ... وهناك من يساندهم من الرجال وكادت العباءة التي على الرأس تختفي ... ولا تحملوا الهم فسأعدد لكم مزايا عباءة الكتف ولم أرتديها أنا شخصيا إلا في العمل وبين النساء . وبعض الأخوات المحجبات واللواتي يحتجن لهذه العباءة في سفر ودعوة ونحوه صنعوا الخمار الجميل الطويل الذي يغطي الكتف ويصل إلى الركب فالحمدلله أنهم حفظوا للعباءة القديمة حشمتها . ولكن ماذا صار في العباءة : ولأني في هذه الفترة كنت في عزاء ... فقد رأيت ما رأيت وأحببت أن أنقل لكن أخواتي نظرتي في العباءة هذه ** عباءة وهي في الأصل (فستانا ) لونه أسود .. مطرز بالنقوش الملونة الجميلة ( أحبها كثيرا ) وتكاد تخنق صاحبتها ( لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله ) ** عباءة جميلة واسعة وبعضها مكسر من الأمام والخلف بيد فضفاضة لا تكشف عن شيء . إلا عن كفين ووجه . ** عباءة للحامل .. كسرات من الأمام والخلف ... وما تشتهين من زينة وألوان . ** عباءة يحيط بها التطريز الأسود الجميل من الأمام وفي اليدين وفي الخلف . ** دخلت الألوان في العباءة اللون الأحمر والأصفر والأخضر ... فبم يعد السواد رمزا لها ( لا أقصد التطريز ) الكل يتسابق للتزين بهذه العباءة ... بل وتوقيع محل الصنع والماركات وووووووووووو صارت تجارة مربحة واسألي عن ذلك إن أخشى ما أخشاه انحسار لبس العباءة الساترة من مجتمعنا فبعد هذا الذي طغى سيأتي يوم وتخلع هذه العباءة .. و بعضها له أسعار كبيرة جدا ... ولأن الموضة ... مثلا للسدو انحسرت ... ستضطر لشراء أخرى وسريعا ....... ولأن الخامات المستخدمة لم تعد كما كانت ستضطر للتغيير وهكذا ......... مزايا العباءة التي على الكتف : (هذه نظرة واقعية للأمور لا دخل للدين فيها ) ** صارت ترتدى في السفر للخليج أو غيره . ** كثير من البنات رجعن للعباءة لأنها لم تعد مقيدة على الرأس ، بل صارت سهلة ، وصارت لا تحتاج إلى التزين في ملابسها إن قصدت مكانا للتبضع ونحوه . ** صارت ترتدى في الوظائف مما جعل التنافس في الملابس أقل . ** يرتديها الجميع العربية والأعجمية لسهولتها . وهذا هو ما لفت انتباهي في مكة فصار السواد هو الأغلب . وأنا هنا بعد هذه الحكاية أريد أن أقدم نصحا لأخواتي المؤمنات الداعيات الطيبات : الله الله في العباءة المستورة الواسعة الله الله في عدم التباهي والإسراف فيها الله الله في نصح البنات بالالتزام بها وتحبيبها لقلوبهن . وتقبلوا تحيتيJune 26th, 2011 @ 11:07 am
Amal Almalki
This is an interesting piece! Where did you get it from? I'm assuming it is an old one because of it's language. As we are living the age of globalization, East and West got to know about each other and about the rhetoric that has been used in each ‘culture’ to describe the other. It has been exposed, scrutinized and corrected. I’ve talked a lot about the Orientalist and the Clash of Civilization rhetoric and how the former built a distorted imagined narrative about the East that has informed the latter. In fact my TEDx CMUQ talk was about this very topic. But we need to look at our own rhetoric and representation of the others as well. Occidentalism exists as well. And as much as I hate the orientalist language that reduce Arabs and Muslims to stereotypes and demean us in every way possible, I am also against the Occidentalist language that refers to every westerner as an infidel- devoid of morality, as if we only own morality! Also as a feminist, I utterly refuse to refer to other women from other cultures in any degrading manner because they don’t act a certain way or wear a certain attire. There is more to humans than these things. Just remember that regardless of our skin color, religions and other differences, we are all created by one God.June 26th, 2011 @ 11:57 am
Amal Almalki
Pabilto: I understand how dealing with a woman covering her face could be irritating and at the same time I understand how irritating it is to deal with a woman wearing the tightest and the shortest in a meeting. I agree with you the key is modesty.June 26th, 2011 @ 12:11 pm