Qatar is going through a transitional phase that is marked by rapid change, economic prosperity, and introduction to modernity. This era has witnessed an important change in women’s roles in the Qatari society. It has also exposed the challenges that Qatari women face, some of which are common across different Arab countries.

In one of the smallest yet richest countries, women’s issues don’t stem from poverty, war, political upheaval or lack of governmental support of women but mostly culture. The Qatari culture is so entrenched in Islamic teachings still ironically carries remnants of pre-Islamic traditions and customs; the merging of both makes it in most cases hard to distinguish what is what. It is a culture that is made by men and maintained for centuries by men, so there is so little that women can do without stirring a controversy.

The rapid change witnessed in the last decade has not only been cosmetic and evident to the human eye but has affected the culture, the very traditions and code of conducts that have been static for so long. Qatari culture is now forced to embrace aspects of modernity that weren’t acceptable in the past in order to consolidate with the new modern times. Hence a need emerged to balance between tradition and modernity, a slogan that has widely spread and can be seen in several of the revival movements, such as the revival of traditional crafts, words, and some customs. The challenge to balance between both is still ongoing and it’s not realistic to say that it has been achieved yet or will be anytime soon.  However, women roles in such changing cultural setting are at the heart of this new challenge.

In a patriarchal culture that is based on shame and honor gender roles are predetermined and accordingly the spaces that are open for women. In a male-dominated society, gender roles are not only a sign of traditions but are also a law of conduct that determines power relations, something that the men thrive to maintain in order to protect and secure the community. Any change in the gender roles can cause disturbance to the harmony of the community. Change is considered ‘harmful’ and thus the government has followed a gradual strategy in modernizing the country whilst providing alternatives to please different sectors, especially the conservatives. The top-down approach implementing political, social and educational reforms directly changing women status has been effective in such a culture, as the odds for women to demand and effect change on their own are minimal.

Traditional fixed gender roles have impacted the roles assigned to women until this day. Women in the past were mainly housewives and confined to the domestic space, some worked from home in weaving and sewing and the few who worked outside the house had to do so out of necessity. Trespassing through public spaces required certain behavioral restrictions on women, ranging from wearing certain attires, covering their female silhouettes in black to ensure minimum visibility, to keeping their voices very low so not to be heard by men. The first career that was traditionally acceptable for women was teaching other women, which started in the confines of their own houses.

In recent times, changes taking place have shuffled gender roles in the society but cultural restraints still determine its acceptability. The changing living demands have forced women to work and help out men, who were previously the sole breadwinners. The government has been promoting women employment by facilitating it and encouraging them and assigning certain jobs and in some cases departments for them, as well as enacting new laws that protect them in the workplace. The most reform that has benefited women is education. It is a known fact that Qatari women are much more motivated to study and continue their education beyond post-secondary level than Qatari men. Universities across Qatar graduate women who are ready to venture into the workplace and prove themselves valuable to the country.

Despite all the changes, the culture is still resistant to move towards accepting women’s participation in the public place as men’s equals. The fields that women can enter are still limited and some jobs aren’t considered socially acceptable. “According to Planning Council data (2005), 53 percent of Qatari women held jobs in education in 2004, while women were totally absent in the construction, trade, and manufacturing sectors, and very few worked in other fields.” (Rand, 2008) More men than women benefit from the generous governmental scholarships for studying abroad, especially for post-graduate studies, because it is unacceptable for women to travel and live alone. Women’s mobility inside and outside Qatar is dependent on their families’ cultural adherence. Their career choices have to be approved by their families. And many families disapprove of sending their women to co-ed schools and universities or work in mixed-gender institutions. Some families impose on women certain traditional attires to study or work in mixed gender environments. The “niqab” or face cover has been very popular in the last decade or so among Qatari working women and has been a topic of controversy. Some of the Qatari intelligentsias have written in local newspapers voicing their disapproval of what they called an “imported” custom that is foreign to their culture. However, the “niqab” can be seen as a direct result of women leaving their private spaces and being exposed to men. It is what anthropologist Hanna Papanek calls “portable seclusion”- giving them the opportunity to participate in the public sphere without crossing any traditional boundaries.

To be continued…

This entry was published in August 2010 as a column in Woman Today, a Qatari based monthly magazine.

Only those who enjoy a relationship with an equal would ever reach the satisfaction of being accepted and loved by someone who has the power to say no. To rule over a weaker person is hardly a sign of caring, and certainly not of a gentleman.

If you like the quote read the whole article:

Protecting women should not be an excuse to control them

Anees Sultan

Men like women, and women like men. This attraction is natural, healthy and powerful. Any effort by parents, schoolteachers, religious leaders or politicians to block or limit their interaction is likely to fail.

Men in our societies also feel they have the added responsibility of protecting “their” women, a role entrenched by centuries of tradition and by what some believe to be their sacred duties.

Indeed, the intent of Islam was to protect women and afford them some dignity in an environment where they were often abused or treated as property. Before Islam began 1400 years ago, a woman in Arabian society was often considered a source of shame, and infant girls were routinely buried alive. Men were so used the idea of possessing women and avenging their honour that tribes waged wars of Trojan intensity if one of “their” women was slightly abused.

As a religious tradition that condemns slavery, Islam should allow Muslim women to benefit from the civil gains it has bequeathed them. But protection is different from control. Indeed, what protection do women need these days?

Today, most Arab women live alongside their male halves in countries largely governed by the rule of law. As they become educated, women learn to manage for themselves and reject male dominance over their future. Males can have trouble accepting a loss of control. It’s convenient, after all, to be in control.

Incidentally, convenience and control are probably the highest satisfaction one can have from being a man in a heavy-handed relationship. Only those who enjoy a relationship with an equal would ever reach the satisfaction of being accepted and loved by someone who has the power to say no. To rule over a weaker person is hardly a sign of caring, and certainly not of a gentleman.

I am continually shocked by the actions of those modern-day Arab men, who have seen or even lived in other societies, who would never take their wives to dine with other couples outside their immediate family. Many send their sons to better and even mixed schools and their daughters to lesser schools – painfully conditioning the latter to expect less from life. This also tells them in an unequivocal way that much less is expected of them.

This does not seem like the protection of women, but protection of men’s status. It is a deliberate act of concealment, of which examples abound. For instance, when women wear the hijab does it have to be black? Black can be the colour of authority and power, and can be stylish. But black can also represent depression or imply submission.

I have asked numerous women about this choice. Their reasons ranged from the direct “when I got married, I had to use black, so as not to attract attention”, to the unconvincing “it’s faster for the morning rush to work”. “Given a choice,” I asked, “would you wear colours?” A majority said yes.

Men also feel embarrassed or protective over women’s names. They rarely call their wives or mothers by their first name in public, as if it is inappropriate exposure. This is so ingrained in the psyche that women accept it as normal.

When a man enters an elevator, many a woman quickly looks down, shy, ashamed and flustered. A more confident woman knows exactly how to stare down the most daring eyes with cold efficiency – if it is warranted.

Yet, for all the efforts to segregate and isolate, text message scanners cannot decrypt young hearts’ coded signs. When faces are covered, nothing can deny the inviting sparkle of an eye. When airplanes take off, a mass uncovering routine ensues for those who have never subscribed to this mandatory protection.

Isn’t it just better to accept relationships as normal and spend time and resources in making them develop in a healthier fashion?

*Anees Sultan is a writer and businessman based in Oman 

The anger and controversy that followed last night’s episode of the popular Saudi show “Tash ma Tash” mirror the sentiments that followed al-Hurra’s presenter- Nadin Al- Badir’s article “My Four Husbands and I”. The episode that was based on her article can only be described as brave. The dialogue could have been stronger but given the limited space of freedom and the fear of the censorship’s claws, their boldness in making and showing it will be applauded if not now then definitely in the years to come.

In her article, Nadine assumes a man’s role and exercises his right- verbally- to polygamy and uses the same clichéd excuses a man uses to justify his second, third and fourth marriages, such as, sexual dissatisfaction, boredom , and the financial ability to provide to more than one family. A man would simply say as she puts it “We (husbands) get bored and she (wife) becomes more like a sister. I’m no longer sexually attracted to her, as I was at the beginning of our marriage. My house became more of an institution. The love has disappeared.” And then asks “What’s my solution when I’m bored of him and I feel like he’s become more of a brother?”*

She also mentions the absurdity of the different kinds of marriages that were invented just for the sake of fulfilling men’s desires that degrade women and legalize adultery and prostitution. She turns the table and says: “Create me a new law, or perhaps one that is divine. Make me a new law based on fatwas or on the spur of the moment thoughts, similar to those you unanimously agree on all of a sudden and without prior notice. Men pursued me for all types of marriages without justification, regardless of whether or not it was an Islamic marriage.”*

The uproar that was caused by her article gave her more credit as a writer than what she actually deserves. Her topic, I have to admit, shocked me as much as it shocked other readers. But unlike others I overcame the initial shock to analyze what the article was really about and stand on the intention of the author. I don’t think that Nadine is a great writer but I do think that her intention was misunderstood. She wasn’t calling for polygamy for herself and other women and she wasn’t defying Islam, instead she was teasing men and challenging them to put themselves in women’s shoes. She makes two other strong points; one is when she asserts that feelings of boredom and dissatisfaction is not exclusive to men, and second is that validating such excuses undermines the whole institution of marriage that should be based on loyalty and stability.

* The article was translated into English by Nofe Al-Suwaidi in the “Islamic Feminism” course.

In a very positive public announcement the British Immigration Minister Damian Green said that he is against the banning of the burka (face cover/veil) and considered the ban as “un-British”. He said that Britain is known for its tolerance of different faiths, and banning one community from wearing certain clothing is wrong. When asked by Channel Four news’ presenter who would protect the women who are forced to wear the burka, he responded that he is against forcing women into wearing or not wearing any form of garment, and insisted that the government shouldn’t take part of banning certain clothing.

It is worth noting that the burka has been stirring controversy in Europe, as polls have shown people’s rejection of the garment and called for banning it. France and Belgium have already voted for banning the burka, and Spain is considering it. After the vote for the ban of burka last month, Sarkozy stated:  ”In our country, we cannot accept that women be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all social life, deprived of all identity … The burqa is not a religious sign, it’s a sign of subservience, a sign of debasement… It will not be welcome on the territory of the French Republic.”

The burka, aka niqab is the piece of cloth covering the female face that some religious schools have considered obligatory, while the majority dismiss it. The grand Imam of Al-Azhar, Sheikh Mohammed Sayyed Tantawi, had ordered one of the female students to remove her niqab, referring to it as a custom and not a religious duty. Some Islamic countries have started banning the niqab in public institutions like hospitals and universities. Many Arab intelligentsias have written against the niqab, referring to it as a foreign custom that has been invading their societies and linking it to extremists’ doctrines and political Islamic ideology.

With all of the confusion surrounding the meaning behind the niqab and the reasons for wearing it, there seem to be good reasons for banning the niqab, especially when issues of national security is at stake.

Should our argument of the niqab follow the same reasoning of wearing the hijab- the headscarf?

Check the recent debate on Burqa in “Cross Talk”  where the discourse of freedom and women rights clashes with the discourse defending the niqab. And please post your opinion about niqab and if it is worth fighting for!

When you find yourself subject to stereotyping, it is understandable if you try to break it. Allow me to elaborate. When travelling, you are seen by people whom you don’t necessarily know. People have a certain image of me, mostly associated with wearing eye-glasses and spending every second of my free time reading heavy-weight books. Except for wearing eye-glasses, the rest is accurate as I do read lots of books and I do spend most of my waking hours reading and writing. Still there is more to me than the frame I’m being squeezed in, because simply I’m a woman! And there is more to a woman than what she allows the public to see. Women are known to multi-task; not only play different roles but play them well. Thus, if you sit next to me in a plane and catch me reading a gossip magazine, don’t get shocked. If you see me watching a Disney movie in the cinema, don’t get shocked. If you see me – God forbids- shopping, don’t get shocked. There is more to me than the image you see.

Moving to a more general perspective on stereotyping, let’s talk about profiling!

How would it feel to be profiled? People tend to stereotype others in order to understand them. The problem exists when we don’t move beyond the first impressions, and when we solidify these stereotypes and turn them into profiles of others and build upon them the basis of our interaction. Here is when everything goes terribly wrong.

Once a certain stereotype is circulated and multiplied, it goes out of hand. It can take years to break it, making it a semi-impossible task. Sadly though, some people are born into such state of distortion, where they are (mis)informed by such stereotypes about their identities and place in their societies.

There is always the fear of internalizing such stereotypes by people concerned and turning these distorted images of who they are into self-fulfilling prophecies. The more an individual hears from others, reads in all sort of literature and watches in the media that he is of such mental capability or such demeanor just because he belongs to a certain ethnicity/race, speaks a certain language or comes from a certain background and class, he will most probably be behaving in that specific way. What has been perpetuated through an internalizing process unfortunately turns into the inevitable. When he is told early in his life that he fits a certain profile, his challenge to defy it becomes harder than living within such profile and conforming to it. Living according to what people have defined him to be becomes easier than reconstructing anew identity for himself. 

I used to think of stereotyping only in the western context. When I used to live in London, people were defined according to their skin color, ethnic background, and religion. Some medical and legal forms request that you fill in the country you were born in and your religion, marking out the British from Arabic or Asian origins. Still, we have been witnessing such profiling of Qataris and non-Qataris recently as well which means that we have joined other multicultural countries in their quest to make sense of what multiculturalism means and what it entails for all parties involved. And that is a topic for another post.

“A growing movement in Europe to ban burkas and niqabs–the face coverings worn by some Muslim women–is igniting a debate over individual religious freedom versus broader cultural values, reported USA Today June 28. In Belgium, a bill making it a crime to wear a face veil in public passed unanimously in April in the lower house of parliament and is expected to become law later this year. Similar legislation in France could mean up to $18,575 in penalties and a year in prison for someone convicted of forcing a woman to wear coverings. Lawmakers across the continent are considering similar measures, reported the article.”

“A doctor in Florida is giving her pregnant patients an experimental hormone, dexamethasone, to ensure that female babies will be more feminine and not become lesbians, reported Jezebel July 1. Some scientists believe the hormone, if administered prenatally, might prevent ambiguous genitalia, but pediatric endocrinologist Maria New says the hormone will also keep girls from doing such things as hanging out with boys, choosing male-dominated careers and being gay.”

 http://www.womensenews.org/

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

A mother is not only the one who gives birth, but is the carrier of culture, religion and traditions. She is the one who teaches us how to speak, whom to love and how to act in different situations. A mother is the builder of our identities; it is through her that we learn how to perceive ourselves and our position in the society. Her impact on our psychological and socio-cultural make up is grave that she could single handedly “make us or break us”.

The mother is a recurrent theme in my students’ papers. The depiction of their mothers differs according to gender. The mother in male students’ papers is the source of love and support. She is always beside her son when the father is usually busy outside the house. Meanwhile the mother’s depiction is slightly different in female students’ papers, and is due to the multilayered roles that the mother plays in her daughter’s life. The mother in female students’ papers is the one who contributes to her daughter’s success or failure. She is the reason for her sense of belonging or identity crisis and the role model that the daughter longs to be or the figure that she avoids turning into. The mother more importantly helps in the formation of her daughter’s gender identity. The daughter becomes a strong woman if her mother is one and this is evident in cases of working women who are successful outside the house and has certain social prestige and appreciation. Or she becomes a weak woman when her mother is a passive battered woman at home or a social door-mat.  

The mother plays a major role in the development of her children’s personalities, but she is her daughter’s role model while the father is his son’s role model. Still the mother’s impact on both sons and daughters is critical as everything she teaches them whether intentionally or unintentionally get internalized by them and stay with them for the rest of their lives. Hence comes the resentment and rebellion that you can find in some of the female students papers, in which the mother’s lack of faith in her daughter leads the daughter to make bad decisions or prove her mother wrong, or a mother’s over-protectiveness pushes her daughter to rebel and stray or follow the path of success yet gradually and cautiously.

Two female student papers stand out because of their very intense and descriptive approach in revealing their relationship with their mothers. A Mexican student in Pittsburgh wrote a self-portrait that revolves around her problematic relationship with her mother; an over-protective mother who calls her daughter several times a day, while her daughter tries to build a life of her own in the States away from her mother’s influence. She ignored her mother’s phone calls. But little did she know that one of these calls that she has been screening was to inform her that her mother was involved in a car accident. The accident was a major turn in the relationship as the daughter having felt that she might lose her mother, she started showing her love and appreciation and the relationship took a happy turn.

Another example is a female student in Doha whose mother who is known for her beauty becomes the main cause of her daughter’s low self-esteem. Her constant criticism of how her daughter looks and acts has led to a severe rupture in their relationship and has led the daughter to detach from her mother. The paper ends with a negative tone, as things don’t get resolved between them. Still it made it easier for the student to confront her mother of the feelings that she has been struggling with and hasn’t been able to articulate till she wrote this paper.  

The mother is also a very popular theme in literature. The mother in both Leila Ahmed’s memoir and Yasmin Crowther’s novel is the stranger- the outsider. She is what marks the children as different.

Leila Ahmed in her memoir A Boarder Passage states: “In the fabric of my own consciousness the women among whom I lived and most of all my mother were everything that I didn’t want to be.” When I asked her of what has generated this resentment toward her mother, she told me that she had thought that it was because her mother was cold and distant. She was different as she belonged to a different culture being of Turkish origin. She added, however, that she is no longer sure that these were the only reasons. In the novel Saffron Kitchen, Yasmin Crowther, a product of an Anglo-Iranian household, depicts an Iranian mother who leaves her husband and her grown up daughter, to go back to Iran in an attempt to reconcile between her past and present. The daughter here also suffers from her mother’s detachment and strange behavior and moods.

Both Leila and Sara- the heroine in Crowther’s novel- lived in their father’s countries within the dominant cultures of his people, Egyptian and British respectively. They both spoke their fathers’ languages. Leila not only an Egyptian but like her father is a product of British education and Sara like her father spoke English and felt British. Moreover, both had deeper emotional connection with their fathers rather than their mothers who were distant and didn’t belong to the overall culture. Their fathers were the corner stones of their beings, while their mothers were the wind that shook their sense of belonging.

Both real and fictional characters have been affected by their mothers, as it is the mother who sets her daughter different from others. Both were living in a dominant culture that they were striving to assimilate in; still these cultures looked at them as slightly different. They had been exposed to a sub-culture that was confined to their houses and to certain behaviors and attitudes that belonged to their mothers’ cultures and were imposed on them. They both lived under certain restraints that their peers in the dominant culture didn’t have to deal with. They were physically different due to their hybrid origins, Leila has piercing blue eyes, and Sara inherited her mothers’ dark eyes and black hair. The houses they grew up in looked and smelled differently, as these houses reflected their mothers’ taste.

The mothers were the reason behind their daughters’ identity crises. In the case if Leila, she had to leave her mother to find herself. She left Egypt, finished her post-graduate studies, and resided in the States. Sara, on the other hand, was abandoned by her mother, who left her family in the UK and returned to Iran. In the real life story, Leila had no chance of reconciliation as her mother passed away when she was abroad. She never had the chance to understand the source of resentment that she felt toward her mother and the detachment that her mother felt toward her. Sara, however, followed her mother to Iran in an attempt to understand her. She had to go and see her mother in her native context, the one responsible for who she was. Her sympathy with her mother grew when she heard about her mother’s life from others. She understood that her mother was a result of social and cultural complexities that she would have never been able to imagine. Only then did she find peace with who she was as a hybrid.

The mother as a theme gives richness to any work of art as much as she enriches our lives. There is more to say but no more space left. A mother is life and how can you reduce life to words and confine it to papers!

This entery was published in June 2010 as a column in Woman Today, a Qatari based monthly magazine.

محمود درويش

 

نيويورك. إدوارد يصحو على

كسَل الفجر. يعزف لحناً لموتسارت.

يركض في ملعب التِنِس الجامعيِّ.

يفكِّر في رحلة الفكر عبر الحدود

وفوق الحواجز. يقرأ نيويورك تايمز.

يكتب تعليقَهُ المتوتِّر. يلعن مستشرقاً

يُرْشِدُ الجنرالَ الى نقطة الضعف

في قلب شرقيّةٍ. يستحمُّ. ويختارُ

بَدْلَتَهُ بأناقةِ دِيكٍ. ويشربُ

قهوتَهُ بالحليب. ويصرخ بالفجر:

لا تتلكَّأ!

على الريح يمشي. وفي الريح

يعرف مَنْ هُوَ. لا سقف للريح.

لا بيت للريح. والريحُ بوصلةٌ

لشمال الغريب.

يقول: أنا من هناك. أنا من هنا

ولستُ هناك, ولستُ هنا.

لِيَ اسمان يلتقيان ويفترقان…

ولي لُغَتان, نسيتُ بأيِّهما

كنتَ أحلَمُ,

لي لُغةٌ انكليزيّةٌ للكتابةِ

طيِّعةُ المفردات,

ولي لُغَةٌ من حوار السماء

مع القدس, فضيَّةُ النَبْرِ

لكنها لا تُطيع مُخَيّلتي

والهويَّةُ؟ قُلْتُ

فقال: دفاعٌ عن الذات…

إنَّ الهوية بنتُ الولادة لكنها

في النهاية إبداعُ صاحبها, لا

وراثة ماضٍ. أنا المتعدِّدَ… في

داخلي خارجي المتجدِّدُ. لكنني

أنتمي لسؤال الضحية. لو لم أكن

من هناك لدرَّبْتُ قلبي على أن

يُرَبي هناك غزال الكِنَايةِ…

فاحمل بلادك أنّى ذهبتَ وكُنْ

نرجسيّاً إذا لزم الأمرُ/

- منفىً هوَ العالَمُ الخارجيُّ

ومنفىً هوَ العالَمُ الباطنيّ

فمن أنت بينهما؟

“Did You Hear About the Morgans?” and “Sex and the City 2” are two different movies with two different story plots, the only two things in common between them are the lead actress, Sara Jessica Parker, and the fact that I watched the first one on the plane on my way to London and the second three days upon my arrival to London.

In “Did You Hear about The Morgans?” SJP’s and Hugh’s characters are a married couple who are going through a separation because of the husband’s infidelity. In a desperate attempt by the husband to patch things up, he takes his estranged wife out to dinner. What was meant to be a romantic evening turns into a catastrophe when the couple by pure accident witnesses a murder. Being well known professionals the killer recognizes them and go after SJP. The police thus put them on a witness protection program. They are forced to leave the busy, chaotic city of New York and are moved to the small, quite village of Ray Wyoming.

The scene that made me repeat it around 4 times is what I want to relate to you. SJP’s character and her husband are dinning in the only café in the village disguised and pretending that they are visiting from Chicago. Sara gets annoyed by the smoking man sitting at the table behind her. The waitress tells her he is the owner of the café but this does not deter her from turning around and talking to the old man. The scene goes like this:

• Excuse me, I’m Meryl and this is my husband and we are from Chicago….

I was just wondering would you mind terribly blowing the smoke in another direction. Thank you.

• I don’t know how you do stuff in Chicago. I’ve never been there. This is God fearing country America and we don’t take kindly strangers trying to tell us how to live.

• People in Chicago are as American and God fearing as in Wyoming.

• Next time you’ll tell us you are a democrat!!

Could this unpleasant confrontation happen in real life? Absolutely, I have witnessed lots of British, Americans as well as Arabs responding the same way to any criticism about their way of living. Does this make the old man in the movie a racist? Or is it SJP’s character the one that comes through as arrogant and culturally insensitive? It is easier to judge others and point out their pitfalls, but it is sad that when you dare to point to them their shortcomings it turns into a cultural war! How amazing!!!

Don’t miss Shelina’s amazing preview of “Sex and the City 2”, where the “ladies” goes on an oriental trip and applies all through the oriental stereotypes (confusing Arabic to Indian culture and language- for them we are basically the same). It is yet another pathetic depiction of an Arab city- supposedly Abu Dhabi whereas in reality it was filmed in Marrakesh! I bet there was good money paid to make sure all of Carrie’s outfits were new season and fresh from the catwalk, but no one cared to get the facts right about Arabic language and the present culture of the 21^st century. Instead of serious research, they retrieved to Hollywood’s distorted depiction of the Arab world. But will they get away with tainting other cultures as they did in the past. I don’t think so, and this would be one of the few things that we have benefited out of globalization, having our voices heard by them.

“While independence and autonomy are important, maybe Middle Eastern women think there is a different way to achieve them than through the self-obsessed, fashion-focused, emotionally unstable way that this film displays.” Shelina Janmohamed