Every summer, the people’s perception here in London and attitudes towards Gulf Arabs takes a negative turn. The sense of Islam-phobia doesn’t help of course as Islam has been associated unjustly with extremism!
Yet on a socio-economic level, the image that the Gulf people summering in London are projecting contributes to the negativity generated towards Arab Muslims, as they are seen as ignorant, arrogant and condescending people spending their oil stipends on shopping, partying and God knows what!
Of course having young men cruising in their imported Ferraris, chasing women on the streets of London doesn’t help such image.
Neither does the scene of women flashing out their jewelry and limited edition bags, and the oddest combination of colorful hijabs and skinny jeans help in grabbing the perplexity of this image and its hidden identity crises.
Nevertheless, generalizing such image by building a stereotype about Gulf Arabs is unfair because it only covers a small population, besides the association of wealth with corruption is unreasonable and only seems to unjustly apply to Gulf people.
Yet, can we blame others for judging us when we do the same by judging each other? And while others do it subtly, we haven’t yet captured the politically correct strategy of criticism, causing further internal ruptures to our national and cultural identities!!
Can we blame them when we love the game of excluding and picking on others? Our lives are determined by misconceptions, stereotypes and prejudices. We tend to exclude a proportion to illuminate our own status. As Muslims we are divided into several sectors, Sunni, Shi’a, etc. As Arabs, we exclude those who share our tongue but not our religion.
Also, among Arabs, origins and tribal roots play a vital role in determining who is more or less of an Arab and thus worthy of our respect! Early in our lives, we are taught about “Us” and define the “Others” as the opposites, highlighting our positive qualities by degrading them.
We learn at home and in school about other people, their geography, history, religions- that teach us that the more distant they are, the more different they would be.
As Arabs we live the paradox of believing in our sameness based on religion, language, and common history but simultaneously are very aware that we are different in a way or another.
Let alone the body of misconceptions we are taught to build up about people who belong to other religions- some of which we don’t acknowledge, people speaking other tongues, and the descendants of past enemy civilizations. How hard would it be to live peacefully in the present when we inherit an out-dated base of knowledge and conduct towards the “Others”?
How can we argue with the West, when our voices shatter into one hundred pieces? How can we fix the images scattered out there about us when we hold each other in fixed frames?Let us start from within, and start respecting each other so we would earn the right to ask for other’s respect.
Mimi
Hello there, I really like this piece because I can relate to it. As you know Amal, I have lived in UK for 4 years. I love the simplicity of life, the practicality and freedom. I would not worry about my looks so much or what others might think of me, because I know that the others could not care less! During the Academic year, I wear jeans, sweater and flat ballet shoes. If I have an eye contact with someone passing down the street, we would simply smile at each other and continue on our day. But when summer comes, and all my friends and family come to London every thing changes. I feel like my country has been invaded by aliens. There is no more simplicity, practicality or freedom. I feel under pressure to keep up with the supermodel look to feel confident enough just to walk down the street. I become more self-conscious about my image and I check myself from head to toe before I leave; Hair do, designer accessories, designer bag, flashy lipstick, high heels, big sunglasses. It does feel good to look super gorgeous but I do not enjoy the freedom of being me, because I know all eyes are looking, people are judging and mocking anyone who do not look as flamboyant as they are. Everything not simple and not practical becomes the “must have it thing”. It would be a scandal to be seen using public transportation, or not leaving a tip more than the amount required in a restaurant bill. At the beginning, I feel excited to be part of the show. But soon I realize this is not me. Why do I care what they think? I realized it is because I am an Arab! If I were English they wouldn’t judge me or even care that I exist. But because I am one of them, they do. But the question is, why do we have these wrong ideas and behavior pattern of judging and pointing at others. We are Muslims, we should be the complete opposite. We should be tolerant and embrace other’s differences and accept them the way they are. We should care about morals not materials. But the sad truth is that we are racist, probably the most racist people ever. Look at how we mock each other “he is Egyptian, she is Moroccan”. Look at how we treat cheap labor in Qatar as if they are animals without souls. Even among us, we have to marry those of our pure race not those who have their blood mixed with Persians! Who the hell we think we are? No matter where we go in this world, we export these ideas with us. And I believe this is one of the reasons we become a retarded nation. Look at the Europeans, they fought wars against each other, they have different languages, religions and cultures. But yet, they are united, they are smart, they do not focus on the differences, but rather their similarities to be stronger. While, us, Arabs; never fought each other, we have common history, culture, religion and language. But yet, we fight, we look at the differences rather than the similarities. I could go one for ever about this topic. Just wanted to share my opinion.May 10th, 2009 @ 11:13 am
Amal
Sad realities. We do need some damage control, and it is a responsiblity that we should take on. Welcome Maryam- looking forward to reading some of your pieces.May 10th, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
David Kaufer
I have read and commented on Dr. Amal's courageous blog posts when they were previously published. I wish simply to remark that Maryam's elaborations on this and other posts are perceptive and informative. Maryam, yours is a fresh and invigorating voice in Qatar with promise for great impact on behalf of Qatari women. I too look forward to reading your future writings.May 12th, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
Mimi
Dear David, thank you for your kind words.May 20th, 2009 @ 10:32 am
Anon
I have to say Dr. Al-Malki I enjoyed reading your post. I don’t understand why people feel the necessity to be over materialistic! The whole “show off” in London is excessive but it’s the same here? It feels like a competition and girls who fall in the trap of trying to look good or supermodel or even feel pressured to do so are not comfortable being themselves so they portray the “anticipated glamorous” look. In Doha, I wear a simple abbayah, simple Shelah with no flashy decoration, no make up and I feel so light and feel myself…I am not obliged to please the anticipated group who walk around in malls in doha in the latest trends with flashy lipsticks, eyeliners etc…and revealing/attractive abbayah’s or sheliahs and then complain that guys are flirting with them! Ofcourse they would its an open invitation! Lets stir away from the simplicity factor etc…when I look at a girl with tons of make up early in the morning, I get a bit grossed out…doesn’t feel heavy on the skin? Especially in our hot weather? How do they look like when they take it off? The burden of layers of make up just to please the surroundings? I don’t think its something that only exists in London…it exists here as well… Frankly we are victims of pleasing others or competing …its all about competition, competition , competition and jealousy!!! If we put that energy in helping others that would be better! For instance why don’t we have a mentor council a programme that assigns mentors to young graduates? Why don’t we have student unions?! I agree we all love our vogue and harper bazaar copies, but what is the line between simplicity and over exaggeration which we witness here.. After all wasn’t Coco Chanel that "Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance”May 21st, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
Rashid
First, I guess it all goes back to education and how we were raised at home. Personally, at home, I was always reminded to respect all people and appreciate differences. I went to government school (luckily) where I was taught (by most teachers and books) to respect other people and other religions. However, the pressure from peers (students) does affect our thinking and yes unfortunately there is part of our culture that encourages focusing on differences and undermines others, I must admit. Maybe it help raising our self-esteem! It also can be seen in some of speeches and teachings in the media. However, I see this type of attitude is changing significantly to the positive and led by respected scholars. Second, I find it really funny (and sad but I will not get into my personal view on how appropriate the "looks" should be) to see girls putting make up and luxurious stuff when they go shopping to impress others or draw attention (either in Doha or London). Yes we became materialistic and in fact tasteless. It is not a wedding party, come on. And why do you bother to please others or follow the "norm"! As long as you are dressed properly and doing the right thing why do you care about what others think! They might pay attention and comment once or twice then they will forget. Third, who said Arabs never fought each other? They had wars going for years on a silly stuff (horse or camel) and there are famous stories in history about this (I blame not knowing this on the non-government education system). It is prophet Mohammed who united them. Forth, I do not think we should change just to impress the West. If we should change then we should change for the best and improve our attitude and behavior. We should change for our sake. We should first respect ourselves and then respect each other. The respect from the world will automatically follow. Finally, as Gandhy once said: "be the change that you want to see in the world".June 8th, 2009 @ 1:00 pm