Why does he get that stiff when she passes by? Why is it that her initial reaction is turning her head away? In any setting where men and women mingle, you can sense the tension. Some may confuse it to sexual tension when I think it is a total ambivalence to how to act or behave with and around the other gender.
In a society that is witnessing progress at its quickest pace, some people seek to participate in such march without being prepared for all of the different interpersonal issues that will emerge. Different institutions have been established upon the main goals of serving the nation and thus employing all qualified males and females. The interaction between both genders becomes crucial to the quality and speed of work. Now if they have not already been to co-ed schools and universities but instead have spent most of their lives indoctrinated that it is immoral to study or work or even be around the other gender, then these people will have a serious problem when entering the workforce.
Although the only basis upon which I would defend segregation is educational as some studies indicated that students perform better in single-sex schools, it is not my intention here to defend the mixing of both genders but deal with the status quo and expose an existing dilemma.
In strictly conservative societies, spaces are defined for both men and women; the private space is women’s and the public space is for men. For a woman to trespass through men’s space, she has to be fully covered, draped in black, and silent- all to make her as invisible as possible. But why would they want her to be invisible? Because of an entrenched cultural belief that a woman is a dangerous being, capable of seducing any man and making him sin just by looking at her. Therefore, a woman is “awra”- a forbidden territory to look at and best kept aside, marginalized as if it does not exist. Despite belonging to a religion that has elevated women’s position and has considered women and men equal when it comes to rights and responsibilities, these patriarchal societies have made women believe that they must accept and act according to men’s decisions.
So what happens when the traditional barrier of segregation is lifted and the previous constraints are relaxed and result in spaces where men and women can co-exist?
Both men and women get confused to how they should be dealing with each other. Many will consider the other gender as a ‘forbidden fruit’, and oscillate between desire and total rejection. And some will try to neutralize their differences and deal with the other gender as if they are dealing with their own. Thus, we end up in a situation where men harass women- at work or on the streets and women use this newly gained exposure negatively by dressing provocatively.
What needs to be done for people to keep up with a country that is modernizing and using all of the human potential as its main capital is reprogramming. Men and women need intensive reprogramming as early as elementary schools, and later at universities and work places, promoting a healthier model of interaction between genders.
Sexual harassment laws should be enacted inside and outside work, followed by educating people to what sexual harassment is through TV, radio, newspapers, seminars and public lectures. So next time a man chases a woman, he would know that this in fact a form of sexual harassment that could end him up in prison.
If respect is not practiced willingly, the government should enforce it. To create a healthy atmosphere in which both men and women can feel comfortable around each other, new rules need to be established and endorsed by everyone in the society, because the present is for all of us to share regardless of our gender.
This entery was published in May as a column in Woman Today, a Qatari based monthly magazine.
Nasser
I think you raised some very valid points, especially as this issue has been, and still is, a widely debated issue, patricularly among the Qatari's whether in online forums or in conversation. Personally, I'm all for freedom of choice. Whether a person is pro segregation or against it, as long as I'm left to make my own choice without people passing jusdgement then it's fine by me. - don't think its my place to tell someone what's right or wrong, or to pass judgement on someone based on their personal views on the matter. Again, as long as no one infringes on my right to choose, then to each his own. However, on that note, I think you'll be hard pressed to find the majority of Qatari's support gender mixing, and in my opinion, it is the minority that supports it. Even if I personally support co-ed institutions or what have you, I don't think its the governments place to enforce it on the people, which is why I think there's been a strong backlash and an extreme reaction against it. People should be given options, they shouldn't be forced to do anything against their will. In qatarshares.com, one of if not the most popular online forums for qatari's, you'll find that the mixing of genders in the work place, schools..etc is one of the most controversial and regularly discussed topics. You'll be surprised to find that it not just your stereotypical depiction of a Qatari male that is against gender mixing, but also educated men and women, many of which studied abroad. They feel discontent and bitter that they basically aren't given proper choices career-wise if they don't want to mix with the opposite sex. I was just talking to my friend yesterday, and this very topic happened to come in the course of our conversation. I asked him if in their family they allowed his sisters to work, to which he said yes, and I proceeded by asking specifically if they were allowed to work in a co-ed enviroment, to which he said no and justified it by saying that if I were in his shoes I wouldn't allow my sisters to do so wither. I just bit my lip and stayed quiet. I just accept that not everyone thinks like I do, and I believe that his mindset I'd reflective of the majority. Its just a different way of thinking, and we just have to accept that not everyone thinks the same way as we do. People are entitled to how they wish to live their lives. Anyway, sorry for the long comment! And for any grammatical errors as I'm typing this from my phone! Hope I didn't get off topic :))May 15th, 2010 @ 3:18 am
Nasser
I hope yu don't mind me sharing this link with you. I think its relevant to the article.. http://qatarshares.com/vb/showthread.php?t=362438May 16th, 2010 @ 10:42 pm
Amal Almalki
Thank you Nasser. Just like you, I’m all for the freedom of choice and will certainly respect those who choose a different path than mine, but I don’t accept them imposing their ideology on me or others. I actually cherish the fact that Qatar University is segregated. It is good that we have both educational systems co-ed and segregated. I know that most traditional institutions, especially ministries assign certain sections and sometimes floors for women, which also benefits those who are against the mixing of sexes. But I don’t know if this system of segregation at work places is sustainable and should be duplicated to say the truth. Can’t we instead of segregation, teach them how to behave and respect each other. Is this a system we want our children to inherit?May 17th, 2010 @ 11:51 pm